


Come What May

by Katiebug445



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, I offer my deepest apologies if you don't know the movie, If you know Moulin Rouge you know how this is gonna go, M/M, Moulin Rouge AU, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I DON'T HATE SOUSUKE I JUST NEEDED A BAD GUY I LIKE SOUSUKE, idk guys enjoy, im sorry, makoharu - Freeform, okay are the kids gone? i lied there's no taxes in this... sorry to scare you, past rin/haru but it didn't work out they work better as friends, reigisa - Freeform, rintori - Freeform, singer!nagisa, there's also what could be kinda considered a sex scene but i tried to keep it pg13 for the kiddos, there's an attempted rape but i tried not to go very graphic im sorry, writer!rei, you know who you are kids. we all know you're not 18 THIS HAS ADULT CONTENT LIKE TAXES LOOK AWAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-02 19:57:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12733260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/pseuds/Katiebug445
Summary: Rei Ryuugazaki has been curious about the Moulin Rouge for a long time, after a friend told him about the magic of the dancers, the shows, and the men and women who own the night. They give him one warning, though: don't fall in love with someone who sells their body. Finally, he decides to check it out for himself. It's everything he'd hoped it would be and then some. But before long, he's dropped headfirst into a situation that puts him in close quarters with the most famous dancer of them all - The Moulin Rouge's Sparkling Diamond. The two spiral into a romance that burns strong enough to last a lifetime - but will it?





	1. Prologue/Paris, France, 1889

**Prologue**

 

Rei Ryugazaki stared at the typewriter sitting in front of him, his fingers hovering over the keys, at a complete loss for words. What was he supposed to say about it? The story wouldn’t sell, he knew that, but the experience deserved to be copied down somewhere, somehow, by someone who lived it. 

 

He felt his glasses slipping down his nose, so he pushed them back up right and went back to staring. The clock on the wall ticked on, reminding him that he was wasting time not doing anything. Where would he even start? 

 

Rei had been a writer since he learned to talk. He had hundreds of diaries and notebooks filled with stories, books covered every spare inch of wall space in his room, and, to him, it was heaven. He fell hard and fast in love with worlds filled with romance, fantasy, adventure, and the more he read, the more he wanted to create his own. 

 

Writing, to him, came as easily as breathing. His words had spread around his small town, and everyone agreed that he was too talented to stay and let his gift go to waste. So, when he turned 17, he packed up his things and left his life in Japan to study abroad in England. 

 

That was where he first heard of the Moulin Rouge. A friend of a friend had taken a trip to Paris and fallen head over heels in love with a man who shattered her heart. “Never fall in love with someone who sells their body.” She warned them all tearfully. 

 

Of course he’d heard of brothels before; they were common in England and not unheard of in Japan, but this  _ was _ the first time he’d heard of an all  _ male _ burlesque. Curiosity piqued, he quietly vowed to himself to someday make it out to Paris and see this strange place first hand. 

 

If nothing else, it might make for an interesting story.

 

* * *

**Paris**

 

Rei set his typewriter on the worn, wooden desk with a huff, and stared around the room. It hadn’t taken all that much to get moved in and unpacked, seeing as though he’d left most of his things behind in England, but it was still enough to exhaust him. He brushed his fingers over the smooth, black keys, and smiled to himself. He’d made it, and he was going to write one  _ hell  _ of a story about the famous Moulin Rouge. His eyes flickered to the window directly across him, and he watched as the windmill atop the building spun its slow circles around and around endlessly, its bright red paint casting a warm glow onto the street below it.

 

Soon enough, he’d find an excuse to explore the city, and just so happen to wind up behind its doors. For now, however, he needed a break.

~~~

Soon came a lot faster than he anticipated.

 

Rei lay back in his bed, staring out the window again and trying to ignore the sounds coming from the apartment above him. The voices were muffled, but he could tell by the increasing volume that someone wasn’t happy. He could hear footsteps, a creak, and the next thing he knew, there was a hole in his roof, and a tall, brown haired, boy lying unconscious in his floor. Rei, who had been scared out of his wits, uncurled from the ball he’d pulled himself into and stared at the stranger, then at the hole in his ceiling.

 

“Don’t worry about him,” called a voice. “He’ll be fine.” A head poked through the hole and shot the boy on the ground a look. “His head’s thick enough that it didn’t do any lasting damage.” the first thing Rei could only stare, still in shock over what just happened, as his mind processed everything.  

 

“I - I wasn’t worried about him, I was more concerned about the gaping hole he left in my ceiling.” He replied, pushing his falling glasses up into place.

 

“Good to know. I’m Rin, by the way,” Added the head in the hole, seemingly unphased by Rei’s rudeness. “And you’ve already met Makoto.”

 

“Pleasure. Now do you mind removing your… Makoto from my floor so I can fix my ceiling in peace?”

 

The boy - Rin - blinked, disappeared for a moment, shouted, and dropped down through the hole into Rei’s flat. Speechless, he watched as Rin hoisted the unconscious Makoto up, supporting his weight with ease. Rei gaped at both of them.

 

After a few small seconds of awkward silence, a thudded knock startled Rei out of his thoughts. He crossed the room and cautiously opened the door, seeing a third, slightly smaller, boy standing there. He looked up at Rei, his face impassive, and walked by him into the room. He took Makoto’s other shoulder, and together, he and Rin started for the door.

 

“The quiet one’s Haru,” Rin spoke.

 

“Hello,” Rei waved, not really sure if he heard or not.

 

The boy called Haru glanced at him again, and Rei couldn’t believe how blue his eyes were. It was like staring at the sea in the afternoon sun, and his dark hair only made them pop that much more. “Hi,” he said back.

 

Rei turned his attention from the three boys, to the hole in his ceiling, and then back again. “Just out of curiosity,” he started, “what exactly were you three doing up there to make the floor collapse?”

 

“Rehearsing.” Haru explained.

 

“For?”

 

“A play.”

 

“Play?” Rei blinked.

 

“We belong to a theater troupe.” Haru said. “We were rehearsing and discussing our script, and Makoto and Rin decided to voice their creative differences.”

 

“Creative differences...”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, d-do you need help?”

 

Two heads snapped up, and Rei was being stared at by both Haru and Rin, their faces desperate but skeptical. “What can you do?”

 

“Well,” Rei muttered, pushing his glasses back up onto his face. “I happen to be a bit of a writer myself…”

 

The two exchanged a look, and a grin broke out across Rin’s face. “Well what are you waiting for? Show us what you can do, writer boy.”

 

~~~

 

There was one more boy waiting up on the next floor for them. He was timid, hanging back in the corner away from the others, but kept his eyes focused on Rin. Concern lit up his features when Haru and Rin brought the unconscious Makoto back, and that turned to confusion when he saw the newcomer with them. “Who’s this?”

 

“Possibly the answer to all of our prayers.” Rin replied, dropping Makoto in a chair. He turned back to Rei, clearing his throat, and began explaining what happened when the floor gave out. “We were trying to come up with the next line for this scene. Makoto doesn’t appreciate my creative genius, and decided to open his mouth about it.”

 

Rei folded his arms across his chest, taking in the small balcony set they’d built and the lighting around it. “What was the scene?”

 

“Well, mine and Tori’s characters were talking about lessons. My character is about to leave, he’s supposed to try making me stay.” Rin said, taking his spot on a giant red X on their makeshift set.

 

“Let me see what you’ve got.” Rei told them.  

 

Nitori and Rin started running through their already written lines like they were old pros. Rin’s voice carried effortlessly through the small apartment, and Nitori answered the performance with an incredible one of his own.

 

Nitori stood up, his gaze fixed on the floor, Rin’s back to him, and took a breath. “You want to know the most important thing I’ve learned from our time together? The thing that keeps me getting up in the morning, and smiling even when it feels impossible?” His eyes lifted from the floor as the other boy turned, and Nitori swallowed. “The greatest thing you’ve taught me is just.... Just…”

 

“To let it be?” Haru suggested.

 

“Learn to let go?” Piped Nitori.

 

“No!” Rin growled. “None of this would make someone want to stay.”

 

Rei watched the three of them arguing, baffled by the lack of preparation that had gone into this. What kind of writers made things up as they went along like this? What about an outline? Mood setting? Anything?

 

Rin was supposed to stay… They needed a hook, something to make him stop and think… “The… the greatest thing you’ve taught me is just…. To be loved…” Rei thought out loud. “The greatest thing you’ve taught me is just to love.” He repeated. “And… to be loved in return.”

 

Three heads were turned to him, speechless, as they processed what he’d just said. One by one, they started to smile, and Rin even started applauding him. “That’s just cheesy enough that it might work. What’d you say your name was?”

 

“I didn’t,” He replied, pushing his glasses up right again. “It’s Rei.”

 

Rin held out his arm, a half-smirk on his face, and shook Rei’s hand. “Nice to officially meet you, Rei. Now how about we discuss having you on the team as our writer?”

 

Rei grinned, taking the offered hand, and shook it firmly. “I think I might be able to do that.”

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, thank you so much for checking out this story! I'm really nervous because this is my first Free! fic, and I feel like I have a lot of expectations to meet -gulps-  
> If you guys like this so far, please let me know!! Feedback in any form is very appreciated.  
> Have a wonderful day, lovelies! <3


	2. The Moulin Rouge

Rei had been tasked with looking over all of the previously written script and made amendments where necessary over the next week and a half. He’d become pretty good friends with the theater troupe, and they’d even managed to get ahold of some material to fix the hole in the roof for him. 

As entertaining as it was to have one of his new friends just poke their head through the hole whenever they needed him, it would be nice to have his privacy back once it was fixed. He worked much better when he could think, and constantly having Rin, or Makoto - who he’d been properly introduced to the following morning - and Haru pop in wasn’t helping get their script revised any faster. 

He still hadn’t found a proper excuse to visit the Moulin Rouge yet, though. And as the nights went on, the lights shining from the building called to him louder and louder. 

Rei was up in the boys’ apartment late into the night, going over their newest version of the script, when he finally got a bit of information on the place. 

Rin and Nitori were bickering to themselves about where to go next. Makoto was trying to defuse the argument before it got too heated, and Haru was off in the corner, eating a slice of bread and watching the whole thing like it was a normal Thursday night. 

Rei let his mind wander while the others argued, and found himself staring at the red building across from the road. The windmill was spinning its slow turns, the lights danced over the window and his face, and he was transfixed watching the people move in and out of the building. Some staggered, their clothes askew, down the street, still half dancing to the tune of a song he couldn’t hear. Some held others up, and some left with both men and women companions for the night. 

“It’s not as great as you think,” Rin’s voice broke into his thoughts. Rei blinked, taking a second to compose himself before turning to his friend. “The Moulin Rouge,” he clarified. “I know the owner, I’ve spent a lot of time over there. It’s not as glamourous as it looks on the outside.” 

“Who’s the owner?” Rei asked, trying not to sound too disappointed. 

Nitori shook his head, cutting across Rin and heading over to the window with Rei. “He only says that because his sister runs the place, and he has to hear about it all the time. To the average person, it’s a lot of fun.” He shot a look back at Rin and rolled his eyes. “Have you been yet?” 

Rei glanced back out the window, watching the lights go around a couple more times before answering. “No. It’s actually the reason I’m here. A friend back in London was telling us about it. How strange it was to have a nearly all male burlesque… I knew I wanted to write about this place as soon as I heard…” 

“Well, Gou will be happy to hear she has such a big fan.” Rin sighed, folding his arms across his chest. “You’ll probably make her life if she knows you came all this way to write about her show.” 

~~~~

Rei had caught up with his work, the guys were happy with what he’d done to fix it, now they needed a cast to do it justice. He personally thought they were jumping the gun a little, but who was he to judge too harshly? 

They’d all gathered in Rei’s apartment, drinking up the last of the tea his mother had sent him before leaving England, and trying to brainstorm. The four were discussing the possibilities of a few struggling actors that they knew, who would be good for what roles, and Rei was staring out at the windmill once again. 

He clutched his teacup tightly in his hands, the lights dancing across his face, and wondered for the hundredth time what would await him behind those doors. 

“Rei! Hey, writer boy, pay attention.” 

Rei snapped back to the moment, blinking his eyes and trying to catch what was being said around him. “What?” 

“We asked if you had any suggestions. Obviously not.” Rin replied with a roll of his eyes. “Too busy daydreaming to care, I guess.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“Well, luckily for you, we know exactly how you can make it up for us. How good of an actor are you?” 

Rei thought about it for a second before shaking his head. “If you’re suggesting that you cast me in your play, forget it. I’m not an actor, nor do I have any desire to be one.” 

“It’s not for that.” Makoto spoke, cutting off Rin before he got the chance to retort. “We just need you to pretend to convince Gou to let us borrow a couple of her dancers for a bit.” 

“And why can’t one of you do it?” 

Rin rolled his eyes again. “Sister’s the owner, remember? She knows all of us. But you… You’re a new face. They don’t know you. It’ll be easy for you to slip in, talk to a couple people, and explain why this is a good idea. Gou’ll have to go for it.” 

Swallowing, Rei fixed his glasses and turned to Rin. “What makes you think she’ll listen?” 

Rin chuckled. “She’s hardheaded, but even she can’t resist a good love story. Trust me, you’ll be fine as long as we can make you look the part. Speaking of,” He turned his attention to Haru, sitting in the far back and watching Makoto finish off his drink. “Do you have a suit our new buddy here can borrow?” 

“Maybe.” Haru answered. “I’ll check later.” 

“Perfect.” 

~~~  
Rei fidgeted with the top hat in his hands, the smooth material slipping through his fingers as he tried to get a grip on himself. A small journal was packed away neatly in the pocket of his suit; he figured he could take some notes before his inevitable meet with whomever his friends had picked out for him. It would be as good of a time as any, right? 

“Come on.” Makoto said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry so much, you’ll do fine.” He shot him an encouraging smile, and together, the five of them slipped inside. 

He was immediately overcome with the sights and smells and sounds emitting from every corner of the place. A French singer was shouting a song from the small stage in the back, the smell of sharp alcohol and cigar smoke hit his nose and burned his throat and made his eyes water, and the swirling colors of dresses and feathers and lights made him dizzy as they made their way up a small flight of stairs to a deserted table on the second floor. Rei looked down at the chaos happening below, to the twirling skirts of the women, and the shirtless men partnering them. It was everything he’d imagined and more. 

It was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. There was so much life in this place, it was nearly overwhelming. He wet his lips with his tongue and craned his neck to get a better look over the side. “This is unbelievable!” He told his companions excitedly. “I’ve never seen anything like this before in my life!” 

“If you can pull it off, you’ll have one hell of a story on your hands!” Haru shouted back to him, the very beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips. 

“That’s what I was thinking!” 

After a moment, Rin, who he hadn’t even realized had disappeared, returned to the table with a small bottle of whiskey, and sat it down right in front of Rei. “Gou knows we’re here. I managed to get you a meeting with Nagisa after his performance. Alone.” He explained. 

“Alone?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh, god!” Rei moaned, his head in his hands. 

As the night went on, Rin explained in a bit more detail the history of the Moulin Rouge, how Gou had gotten her hands on it, and what she’d turned it into afterwards. Rei took everything in with an eagerness he hadn’t seen in himself in years, but was quickly reminded that he had one more story to write before he could get into this wholeheartedly. 

“You’ll be fine. Nagisa’s a pretty cool guy. Really nice. Really handsome, too.” Rin said. “You’re worrying over nothing.” 

“That just makes it worse!” 

 

Finally, the lights went down, and all heads turned to the main area of the floor. Rei turned completely in his seat, anticipating what was coming next, felt his heartbeat quicken in his chest. Finally, a single light shone over a small, cleared circle in the center of the dance floor, and confetti fell from the ceiling. 

“Get ready for this.” Rin chuckled, nudging Rei in the chest. 

Another few seconds, and a swing descended from the ceiling, a small-framed blonde sitting in the center of it. Dressed in a shimmering, silver leotard, the blond began to sing as he was lowered to the ground. The blond danced and sang his way through the crowd of people, not afraid to flirt it up a bit for whoever was watching. 

Rei watched, unable to take his eyes off of him as he moved. Confidence oozed from every inch of the dancer, his blond hair flipping left to right as he moved, and even from here he could see a thin sheen of sweat coating his neck and bit of exposed chest. And his eyes… Direct, sharp, and damn near predatory. 

The boy was beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. And Rei knew right then that it was this captivating stranger that needed to be the star of their play. 

Makoto must have seen the way he was staring, because he chuckled and nudged him in the arm. “That’s Nagisa. He’s the undisputed star of the Moulin Rouge, and Gou’s personal favorite courtesan. He draws more attention to this place than any of the other dancers combined.” 

“And that’s exactly why Rei’s going to talk to him!” Rin interrupted. “If you start stuttering or panic, you’re an adorable kid, maybe he’ll take pity on you and do it anyways.” 

Rei barely heard anything they were saying. His eyes followed Nagisa all the way around the floor, the sequin on his costume shimmering under the lights. A smile tugged at his lips, and he thought he could understand exactly why this boy was such a hit. 

Nagisa finished his performance, and the entire place erupted in applause. Rei was among the louder of them all, wanting desperately to see what else he could do out there. As he took his final bows and disappeared, the boy on the balcony realized just what was coming next. He wasn’t ready to speak to the dancer one on one; there was no way he could handle that just yet. Rei needed more time to prepare. He was about to explain as much to his friends, when Rin stood, ushering for Rei to follow him. 

There was no turning back now. 

~~~

Rei followed along behind his friends, replaying the last few minutes in his head. There was no way he could do this; the courtesan would see through him in mere seconds if he opened his mouth. He stared ahead, watching as his companions got farther and farther away from him, and almost considered bolting right then and there. He would have, too, if Makoto didn’t stop, turn, and make his way back to him. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, concern heavy in his tone. It was almost enough to make Rei stop and spill his guts of all of his worry and anxiety, and pure fear of seeing that beautiful dancer up close, but he kept his mouth shut and nodded. 

“I’m fine. I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to present my work. Guess I got a little too lost in my thoughts.” He patted Makoto on the shoulder and fell back in line a little in front of Haru, trying - and failing - not to think too much about what was waiting for him. 

The five took so many twists and turns through different corridors filled with closed doors on one side and windows on the other. Rei could see the moon shining bright above them, full and white and casting chilly light on all of them. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see something in the shape of an elephant getting closer. He wondered briefly if that’s where they were heading. 

After a few moments, Rin stopped, turned, and cleared his throat. “Now, when you get in there, don’t get nervous. Just talk to him. If he seems interested in what you have to say, give him a sample of the writing you did for us. Everything we have is riding on your performance in here, writer boy. Don’t let us down.” 

Rei swallowed, quickly taking in the faces of his new friends, the desperation they were all trying to mask, and nodded. His heart hammered against his ribs, but he smiled with confidence he didn’t exactly have at the moment. “You need to have more faith in me, gents. After all, I have just as much at stake here as you do.” He pushed his glasses up where they needed to be again and took a step back from all of them, hoping his voice sounded more confident than he felt. “Now, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” 

The four took off, leaving Rei standing alone in the hall for a moment while he gathered himself. He put his hand out to knock, but froze at the last second. Those eyes flashed through his memory again, and he could feel the heat creeping up on his neck. Those eyes that would burn him alive if he got too close, that would see through him as quickly as he walked in the room… There was no way he could actually pull this off. 

Rei took a breath, shut his eyes, and steadied himself. He had to try. He would most likely fail, and be laughed out of the room, but he had to do something. He raised his fist again and knocked. 

“Come in,” called a softer voice than he expected. He poked his head inside, and his heart beat so fast against his ribcage that he thought it might actually wear a hole through them. The boy called Nagisa was sprawled out, shirtless, across a bed covered in red satin, and Rei saw him up close for the first time. His golden-blond hair fell loosely in his eyes, hard muscle bulged against his soft looking skin, just inviting Rei to touch him. Those eyes were on him again, and they were giving him the sultriest look he’d ever seen in his life. “I’ve been expecting you,” said the other boy. 

Rei opened his mouth, but all that managed to come out was a squeak. This wasn’t a fair fight. There was no way he could handle this. Finally, he managed to tear his eyes away from the boy and cleared his throat, trying to get a grip on himself. “S-Shall we b-begin, then?” He asked meekly. 

“That’s up to you. You look like you’re about to fall over. Why don’t you sit down.” Nagisa was on his feet, then, guiding Rei over to the bed to sit down. The smaller boy’s hand touched his, and Rei felt an electric charge shoot through him. White hot heat began to pool in his stomach, and it worked its way out until it had burned every inch of him on the inside. Nagisa tilted his chin up, and the two locked eyes for the first time. “Now tell me,” he started, that gentle voice of his blocking out everything else happening around them, “What has you so worked up? Is it anything I can help with?” His hand had slipped from Rei’s chin, and was working its way south, touching him just gently enough to raise goosebumps in its wake. 

He could only imagine what he looked like right now. Every inch of him felt like it was on fire, he could feel his heart fluttering like a butterfly in every pulse point in his body, and the sensation in his lower stomach was coiling tighter and tighter and he honestly felt like he might explode if he were here much longer. “I-I-I-” he stammered, getting to his feet despite his legs feeling like jelly. He gaped at the other boy, who was still giving him that same look, and backed himself into a table. Rei took a shaky breath, shutting his eyes, and knew he needed to just go for it if he expected to accomplish anything. “It-It’s a little bit funny, this - this feeling inside… I’m not one of those who can easily hide…” 

“That’s okay, you don’t have to hide.” Nagisa replied, and Rei could hear the slide of the bedsheets as he got up, and after a second, he could feel those hands on his skin again. 

Rei’s eyes fluttered open and the other boy’s face was right there in front of him, and Nagisa blinked innocently up at him. Rei whimpered, hoping that it wasn’t loud enough to be heard, and he plunged on. “I… Don’t have much money, but if I did… I’d buy a big house where we both could live…” 

Seeming to misconstrue this as something else Rei wasn’t sure he wanted to know, Nagisa shut his eyes and let out the softest of moans, his hands traveling over the taller boy’s chest again. “Tell me more.” 

“If - If I were a sculptor, but then again...no… Or - Or a man who makes potions for a traveling show,” his voice was coming out higher than he’d hoped, but it didn’t seem to have caught the attention of the other boy. “I know it’s not much, b-but it’s the best I can do…” 

Nagisa let out a bit louder of a moan, and his hands were dangerously close to an area Rei knew he’d have to surrender to if it were touched. “More… Tell me more….” 

A couple fingers brushed lightly over said area and Rei jumped back, yelping, his face scarlet. He was panicking, now, unsure of how much longer he could last against Nagisa. He didn’t know what else he could do to make him listen, but he had to do something… Before he knew what was happening, his mouth was open, and he was singing. 

Nervous as he was, it was easier to sing it out than to speak it. After a moment, he took the other boy’s hands in his and twirled him around the room, singing directly to him. The seductiveness was gone from Nagisa’s eyes, and it seemed like he was actually enjoying the strange turn of events. He laughed, burying his face in Rei’s shoulder once the song was over, and when he pulled back he was smiling so big that his face was in danger of splitting in two. “I didn’t expect you to be so dashing!” he said dreamily. “I think I’m in love with our investor!” 

“Investor?” Rei asked, confused. “I’m not an investor.” 

Nagisa blinked, stepping away from the other boy, confusion creeping into his face. “That’s what Gou said. She told me I was supposed to be meeting a very wealthy investor who was interested in the Moulin Rouge.” 

“I’m not an investor, I’m a writer,” Rei repeated.

Realization flashed across Nagisa’s face. “Rin put you up to this, didn’t he? You’re in his troupe, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, but--” Rei was about to say more when there was a knock at the door. Both boys jumped, Nagisa’s eyes went wide, and he started shoving Rei towards the window. “You need to hide somewhere. You can’t be seen in here right now.” He looked around frantically, trying to find a hiding spot big enough for the taller boy. There was another knock, and Nagisa jumped again. “Come in,” he said, adding in a whisper to Rei, “I promise, we’ll talk later, but you need to hide. Now.” 

The door opened before he could do much, and in a panic, Rei ducked behind a table with a long cloth draped over it. He held his breath, not daring to risk being overheard by the newcomer. He peeked out behind his hiding spot, seeing a tall figure standing directly in front of the door with a mess of dark hair cropped much like Makoto’s. 

“I’ve been expecting you,” Nagisa was saying, crossing the room and taking the hand of the stranger. His eyes flickered down to Rei for half a second, then to the door. Then he was all business again for the man he assumed was the investor. 

The door was open just a tad, and if the newcomer kept his back turned just a little longer, he could slip out undetected. He shot one more look to Nagisa, who kept glancing between him and the newcomer. He slipped his arms around his neck and leaned in to whisper something, and Rei knew that was his chance. He bolted for the door as quietly as possible, slipped out, and crept down the hall until he was out of earshot of the room. He bolted out of the Moulin Rouge and out onto the street, leaning against the side of the building for a moment to catch his breath. 

He glanced up after a moment, to the elephant-shaped thing, and caught a flash of golden-blond hair. He swallowed, realizing that was where he must have been just a moment ago, and immediately began looking around for his apartment. He thought he could see it from there, but would he know when it was safe to come back? Nagisa did say that he wanted to talk later, after all. 

So, what, then? Where could he wait until it was safe to go back and visit the courtesan? He wasn’t sure, so for the time being, he allowed himself to slide down the side of the building, and sit on the ground, his eyes never leaving the window of the elephant.


	3. The Writer, the Courtesan, and the Play

 

Auburn eyes. A sensual smile. A touch that left fire in its wake. 

 

Rei thumped his head against the side of the building, shutting his eyes, and exhaled. He couldn’t believe how quickly he’d fallen apart in front of the courtesan, how one look from the other boy had undone every last bit of composure that he had. 

 

_ “We’ll talk later,”  _

 

Talk later… Rei’s eyes flickered up to the elephant again, but he couldn’t see much from down here. He wondered if it would be safe to go back up, or if he should just wait until he knew for sure.

 

Maybe a quick check wouldn’t be such a bad ide--

 

“Rei!” 

 

Rei snapped back to attention, seeing Nitori and Rin hurrying up to him. The smaller reached him first, his gray hair mussed up from running. “How’d it go?” 

 

“Well, it certainly went, that’s for sure.” Rei replied, hoping he was imagining the blush he felt creeping up on him. “He listened, but we were interrupted before he could say anything.” 

 

“Interrupted?” Rin cut in, leaning against the wall. “How so?”

 

Rei blinked. “Something about an investor? It happened so fast, I don’t remember exactly. But he said something about talking later, so it mustn’t have been a complete failure.” 

 

Rin nodded, seeming to accept this answer. He shot Rei a half-smile and held out his hand for him, helping him to his feet. “Good job, writer boy. Now let’s track down the others. They’re waiting to hear how it went.” 

 

~~~

 

They converged in Rei’s apartment again, all five of them congratulating him on a job well done. Even Haru, who mostly kept to himself and Makoto, was a bit more involved in the conversation than normal. Rei actually thought he might have smiled at one point.

 

There wasn’t much talk of a plan, aside from them all putting their faith in Rei to do what felt right. Nagisa’s face flashed through his mind again, but he didn’t think that explaining that’s what he wanted to do would go over very well, so he kept that happy thought to himself. 

 

He found himself drawn to the window more than ever now, his eyes fixed on the elephant. He knew it was stupid, checking every few seconds, but he wanted to see Nagisa again. Soon. Rei could have sworn he saw movement at one point that looked like someone putting a coat on, but that could have very easily been wishful thinking on his part. 

 

His friends stuck around until almost midnight. When Makoto fell asleep on Haru, everyone thought it best that they retire for the evening. They said their goodbyes, and Rei went back to watching the window. 

 

After what felt like decades, a small shape appeared from the doorway, and Nagisa wandered his way out onto the balcony. His eyes were fixed, looking for something - or someone. Rei wandered closer to his window, trying to catch a better glimpse of this beautiful boy, when he realized that the courtesan was looking directly at him. Rei stared back, barely daring to breathe for fear of breaking the spell. The smaller boy sat on the railing of the elephant and lifted his hand, giving a small wave when he realized who was watching him. Without thinking much of it, Rei waved back. 

 

He waited for a moment or two, and when he decided that it seemed safe enough to guess nobody was coming back, he decided to go. 

 

Rei hurried his way across the street, his eyes fixed on the lights coming from above him, and began to scout out the best way up this thing. A narrow staircase wound its way up the legs and  body of the tower, and carefully, he ascended. The closer he got to the top, the harder his heart beat in his chest. Was he really ready to face him again so soon? Could he handle this? 

 

Up he went, unable to stop his feet even if he’d wanted to. When he reached the top, he knocked lightly at the door and stepped back to wait. He swallowed, trying to brace himself for what was coming. After a couple seconds of quiet panic, it cracked open, and Nagisa stood there with a gentle smile on his face. “Hi,” he said, stepping back and waiting for the boy to come inside. 

 

“H-Hello,” He replied, stepping over the threshold and trying to get a grip. Nagisa had changed since he’d seen him across the street, and it seemed as though he’d caught him in the middle of his costume change. His white shirt was still unbuttoned and his dark slacks still had their belt unbuckled. Seeing him like this, so casually dressed and vulnerable, was twice as attractive to Rei than his flashy costumes from earlier. 

 

“So, who are you, if you’re not really the investor?” Nagisa asked him, his arms folded across his chest. 

 

Okay, showtime. He had to sound suave, and not like just the idea of being in the same room with this boy was about to end him. He cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up, and turned away from the smaller boy. This was time to be the writer that everyone was depending on him to be. “I’m...” He started, his story dying in his throat before he could get it out. “Rei.”

 

“Rei?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Well,  _ Rei _ , I’m Nagisa.” He could hear footsteps behind him as Nagisa got closer. His heart seized up in his chest, and Rei swallowed again. “It’s nice to officially meet you. Now what brought you up here earlier? You seemed a little too nervous to be looking for some fun.” 

 

What could he say that wouldn’t get him into too much trouble? He wasn’t a good liar, and he knew he’d blow it if he had to stick to a cover up story, but he was sure the truth wouldn’t work in his favor, either… Rei licked his lips. “I came for a story.” he said simply. 

 

Footsteps. Nagisa was in front of him now, an eyebrow raised and skepticism on his face. “A story?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“About what?” 

 

“You,” Rei said simply. “This. The whole place. I heard about the Moulin Rouge in England, and it fascinated me. I wanted to know everything about it. And…” His eyes swept over everything in the room, finally landing on Nagisa, and he could feel a blush creeping into his cheeks. “I just wanted to know… The world should know of this place. About you.” 

 

Nagisa smirked, his fingers brushing gently against the other boy’s hand, and started past him towards the balcony. “Well, Rei, if you’re half as good of a writer as you are a singer, you’ll have a best seller on your hands in no time.” 

 

Rei’s eyes followed the other boy, watching him for a moment before following him out into the night air and leaning against the railing next to him. Nagisa turned his head when he got there, a gentle smile on his face, and Rei could have sworn his heart stopped. There were no two ways about it: this boy was stunning, and he was a gonner. 

 

“You know, when I first saw you dancing, you were so captivating. I’d never seen anything like it before. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I think I fell in love.” 

 

“No,” Nagisa replied, “that was the moment you fell in  _ lust.  _ There’s a difference.” 

 

Rei shook his head. “That’s not what this is, I promise.” 

 

“Rei, these are things I hear every day, sometimes three or four times. I appreciate the sentiment, but give it a little time and you’ll be moved on. It happens all the time.” 

 

“Nagisa, I--” 

 

“I think you’d better go.” 

 

Nagisa started for the door, but Rei grabbed his hand, and did the one thing he could think of: he began to sing.  _ “No, don’t... leave me this way. I can’t survive, without your sweet love, oh baby, don’t leave me this way…”  _

 

“You’re fooling yourself.” He replied, gently removing his hand from the other’s.

 

_ “Love me, love, me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.”  _

 

“Stop.” 

 

_ “Stop, in the name of love, before you break my heart.”  _

 

Nagisa stared for a moment, gently shaking his head at Rei and his persistence, before giving in.  _ “I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I’m afraid that I’m not sure of, a love there is no cure for..”  _

 

_ “I love you, baby! And if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, to warm this lonely night, I love you baby…”  _ Rei took his hand again and kissed it, his cheeks pink and his glasses slipping down his nose again. 

 

_ “Trust in me when I say… Oh, pretty baby, don’t bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby, now that I’ve found you, stay..”  _ The other boy sang back, gently pushing Rei’s glasses back into place. 

 

That prompted Rei to continue, and he spun Nagisa around the room as he serenaded him. The smaller boy clung tightly to him, not wanting to trip, and laughed as he went on. After a few moments, he began to sing those same words back to him. 

 

If he believed in such things could happen so fast, Nagisa would have said he fell in love that night. Rei was charming, and buzzing with such nervous energy that it made him want to protect the taller boy. His voice promised the world to him, his hands promised to hold him forever, and his heart… Nagisa could only imagine. 

 

When Rei finally ran out of breath, Nagisa leaned against him, gasping for air and laughing harder than he could ever remember in his life. He pulled back after a moment, leaning up on his tiptoes, and pulled Rei down into a kiss. His fingers twisted into his hair, locking him in place and not intending to let him go until he was good and ready. 

 

“Nagisa, I--” The two broke apart, Nagisa turning to the door in barely disguised horror. Sousuke, the investor who’d interrupted them earlier, stood with his head in the door, looking at them in confusion. “Oh, I see.” 

 

“No!” Nagisa said, his voice panicked. “No, this isn’t what it looks like, I promise. We were rehearsing! For the play that Mr…” He turned to Rei desperately, begging him to help. 

 

“Ryuugazaki.” He whispered. 

 

“Mr. Ryuugazaki has been developing with myself and the brother of the owner. We had intended on bringing it forward in a few days, to see what everyone had thought about it. After you left, I was so… overcome with passion that I  _ had  _ to send word to him and the others that we needed a rehearsal as soon as possible.” 

 

Sousuke looked between the two of them, and Rei only hoped he didn’t look as flustered as he felt. He licked his lips, straightening out his clothes and wiping his mouth, and nodded. “Yes, we still have a very long way to go with it, and Nagisa just wants to make sure it’s perfect for its debut.” 

 

The newcomer was quiet for a moment, and folded his arms across his chest. “What’s this play about?” 

 

“I don’t hear rehearsals going on!” Shouted a voice that Rei knew only too well at this point. Rin shoved his way inside, standing a little ways away from Sosuke and pretending he didn’t even see him. “Don’t tell me you’re that bored with it already.” 

 

“No, of course not!” Nagisa replied. “Mr. Yamazaki here came at a very awkward time, and we were just getting ready to tell him about the play when you showed up.” 

 

“I’m sorry, maybe I can help.” Rin said, turning to Sousuke. “It’s about love. Picture this!” Rin grinned, putting an arm around the investor. “Our lead falls in love with one of his best friends when they’re kids, but said friend is whisked away and our lovers are driven apart. The lead falls into a deep depression.” 

 

“It sounds silly.” Replied Sousuke. 

 

“You didn’t let me finish! During this time, the other best friend claims he’s been in love with our lead for years! He’s a struggling actor, and he can’t offer much except his heart. With his patience, our lead discovers he’s able to move on, and even love again. But then… the old lover returns. He’s rich, he’s suave, he’s everything our actor is not! All of the old feelings begin to stir inside our lead, and he’s trapped between two men who care deeply for him. Will he choose the actor, the one who loves him unconditionally, or the rich man, who can offer him a life of ease? It’s a very compelling story, honestly. Nagisa here is our star.” 

 

Nagisa nodded enthusiastically, shooting Rin a look of gratitude when Sousuke wasn’t looking. “We’re all excited about it. If you’ll just give us a bit more time, I promise it’ll be worth it.” 

 

Sousuke thought about this for a moment. It wasn’t what he’d expected, but he’d bite. “You’ve got a month.” He told them. “And I want to be involved from here on out. Whenever something happens, when there’s a rehearsal, or a script change, I want to be part of it.” 

 

“Of course!” Nagisa grinned. “But I think that’s all I can handle for tonight. It’s been a long day. Mr. Yamazaki, if you’ll excuse us, I need to have a word with our talented script writers here before we go. I’ll send word for you first thing tomorrow morning if you’d like to sit in on our next rehearsal?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

“Great! We’ll see you then.” Nagisa showed him to the door, waiting until he was out of earshot before turning to the other two. “How did you come up with that on the spot? That’s either the dumbest or most incredible thing I’ve ever heard.” 

 

Rin shared a look with Rei before grinning at the smaller boy. “Talent, my dear Nagisa. Pure and simple talent. Also a bit of personal experience.” 

 

“Well, that’s fine, but what are we gonna do? He’s expecting a play, and we have nothing ready to give that to him.” 

 

“Leave that to me.” Rin chuckled. “But for now, I have to discuss the change of events with my troupe and then have a chat with my little sister. I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He told both of them before disappearing out the door. 

 

That left the two of them alone again. Nagisa stood near the door, fiddling with a piece of bread still left on the tray on the table. He had no idea what to say to him after everything that had happened in the last twenty minutes. 

 

Rei stood back closer to the balcony still, his blush returning now that they were together again. His thoughts immediately turned back to the kiss, and how much he would like to do that a second time. “I, um, I suppose I should be leaving, too. I have to tell the others about this.” 

 

The smaller boy looked up, almost looking sad, and nodded. “I should probably catch up to Rin and help him convince the others that we need to do this.” 

 

“Right, well, goodnight.” 

 

Rei started past Nagisa, but the smaller boy caught his wrist, spinning him back around and pushing him against the door. “If you ever need a private rehearsal, I’ll be here.” He leaned up on his tiptoes again, pushing the other boy’s glasses back into place before brushing a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Rei Ryuugazaki.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't ever listened to Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge, what have you done with your life? Please remedy this at your earliest convenience!


	4. A Star is Born

Gou had taken a lot of convincing. At first, she insisted that she didn’t want the Moulin Rouge turned into a theater, but with the help of Nagisa being on his side, Rin managed to sway her  under one condition: Shows would continue as usual while they remodeled. They could work during the day before they opened for the night. 

 

After she thought about it for a couple days, though, Gou came around, and even seemed excited about the project. She’d even started helping them out, and offered suggestions for the design process. 

 

Rei had been tasked with writing the actual script, along with all of the music to go with it. He’d been holed up in his apartment since that first night with Nagisa, and his only link to the outside world was when either Makoto, Haru, or Rin would drop in to check if he was still alive. 

 

When he could spare the time, Makoto would drop in and keep him company while he worked, offering suggestions when Rei would get stuck, and then inevitably fall asleep. When that happened, Rei would either drag him up the stairs and hand him off to Haru, or have the quiet boy come collect his boyfriend. 

 

“You, know,” Rei started one afternoon, “I have to hand it to Rin for picking something simple for a premise. Coming from him, I expected flashy and unrealistic. I’m impressed.” 

  
  


Makoto looked up from behind his pages and shot him a smile. “Well, it should be realistic. It’s based on a true story.” 

  
  


Rei raised an eyebrow, thinking about what that had to mean, but his expression softened when he understood. “Haru?”

 

“Haru.” 

 

He said nothing in return, just went back to hitting the keys on his typewriter and occasionally checking notes. He knew there was an odd history between Makoto, Rin, and Haru, but he’d never been able to bring himself to ask. Though now that he thought about it, it made sense. There had always been a bit of a weird tension between them since they’d met, though all of them tried to avoid it. 

 

Makoto hadn’t said anything, and Rei was starting to wonder if he’d said something wrong. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--” 

 

“No, no, it’s fine.” The other boy replied, waving off his friend’s concern. “I was just thinking, nobody’s explained how we all know each other, have they?” 

 

“Nope.” 

 

Makoto shot him an apologetic look, and cleared his throat as he began. “I met Haru when we were really young. Our parents knew each other, and they insisted on us becoming friends, and luckily for us, we did. Very fast. He was always kind to me, even from day one. Through everything, Haru always tried his best to support and protect me when things got difficult. It’s hard not to fall for someone like that.” 

 

Makoto paused, losing himself in the happier memories of his childhood, and Rei listened intently. He barely dared to breathe too loud in fear of interrupting the story. 

 

“Then Rin came along, and everything became about him. Since they met, there was always this weird competition between them, and they would challenge each other at the drop of a hat. But they worked well together. Every bit as much as Haru and I did… I don’t remember how old we were when Rin kissed him, but they were always together after that. Haru… he loved him. More than anything in the world, he loved him.” 

 

Rei couldn’t help but notice that the smile had disappeared from the other boy’s face, and he swallowed. He didn’t know what to say to that, if he could say anything. He couldn’t imagine how it felt to be in that position, loving someone while watching them love someone else, and his heart went out to the tall boy across from him. 

 

“Rin eventually moved away. He left everything and everyone behind and packed up for Germany. Didn’t write, didn’t visit, nothing. Haru, he… He took it hard. He lost all of the passion for life that he used to have, and for a long time, I didn’t think anything would bring him back. Over the years, I’d catch little glimpses of it, but that was all.” Makoto shook his head, closing his eyes and letting out a breath while he tried to keep his emotions in check. “It was my turn to repay the kindness he showed me as a child. I stayed by him, I didn’t push, I just stood by him while he worked that pain out of his heart. The only thing I wanted from Haru was to see him happy. It’s taken a long time, but he… He’s the old Haru again. The one I fell in love with when we were kids.”  The smile returned, and Makoto chuckled as he lost himself in his memories. 

 

“But what about now that Rin’s back?” 

 

“Well, Rin came back home with Nitori in tow, and they seem pretty pleased with each other. He’s apologized, and has expressed nothing but support for Haru and I...” 

 

“I sense a ‘but’.” Rei replied. 

 

Makoto shot him a knowing smile, and paused for a moment before continuing. “But, sometimes… sometimes I worry. Maybe someday he’ll decide I’m too safe, and he’ll end up chasing after him again, but.. That’s not something I try to entertain too much. I have him right now, and I  _ think _ he’s happy..”

 

Rei nodded, waiting to see if Makoto was finished or not before going back to his writing. 

 

~~~

 

Rei watched from the back of the stage as Makoto directed everyone around. He still wasn’t happy with the music, nor the quality of the writing itself. He’d pulled two all nighters in a row, pouring over pages and pages of what he’d already written to see what was wrong, and still couldn’t put his finger on it. His eyes flickered up, and he noticed Haru sitting off to the side, his eyes focused entirely on Makoto, and chuckled to himself. 

 

After a moment, he turned back to his script, tapping his fingers on the ground a he thought. 

 

What exactly was missing? What about it didn’t feel exactly there yet? The first half was fine, he commended himself for a job well done, but around the halfway point, when the lead realized he was beginning to fall in love again, it fell flat and lifeless. 

 

“Come on, Rei,  _ think _ !” he muttered to himself. There had to be a way to fix--

 

“Guess who?” 

 

After trying to convince himself that he didn’t just jump out of his skin, Rei turned his head and saw Nagisa had slipped away from the rehearsals and found him. “N-Nagsia!” He whispered, shoving the script aside for the moment. “You’re supposed to be out there, with the others.” 

 

“Makoto told me you might need some help.” The other boy shrugged, his auburn eyes seeming to glow in the dim light. “So, here I am.” 

 

Rei’s eyes flickered out to the stage, quietly cursing Makoto. He knew what he was up to, and he wasn’t amused. “Don’t worry about me, you’re the star, the only thing you should be concerned about is making all of us look good out there.”

 

“No pressure, or anything.” Nagisa smiled, scooting a little closer to the taller boy, and snatched the paper from his hands. Rei couldn’t keep his eyes off of him as he read over the couple pages, his expression changing from gentle amusement to deep concentration, and a piece of hair flopped down into his eyes. Rei swallowed and found himself reaching out to him to fix it.

 

When he realized what he was doing, he pulled his hand back, hoping the smaller boy hadn’t noticed. 

 

“Have you ever been in love, Rei?” Nagisa was watching him, now, his eyes full of curiosity. 

 

He had to think for a moment. He’d seen plenty of people around him fall in love, he’d seen it happen to his friends, but… His eyes found Nagisa’s again, and he could feel a blush creeping up into his cheeks. A memory of their shared kisses flashed through his mind, along with their serenade… “What is love to you, Nagisa?” 

 

He was quiet for a moment, really thinking over Rei’s question, and lay back, just staring at the taller boy. “What is love to me…” he mused. “I think… love is when just the sight of someone feels like freedom. I think it’s when someone smiles at you, and you feel like you could float away by how happy it makes you. I think it’s loving someone unconditionally, despite the things they’ve done in their past. I think… loving someone… I think it feels like coming home.” 

 

Rei reached out, his fingers finding Nagisa’s, and brushed his thumb over his fingers. Coming home, huh? His eyes fell on the smaller boy, and he could feel heat rising in his cheeks. The Moulin Rouge, just in the short time he’d been here, had felt more like a home to him than England ever had. And a lot of that was to do with the boy in front of him. 

 

“You’re an incredible writer, Rei. You really are. You have real talent inside of you. But you can’t be afraid to put yourself into your story. That’s the problem.” 

 

“It isn’t my story, though, it’s Makoto’s.” 

 

“You’re the writer, though, aren’t you? I’m sure Makoto would rather have you take creative liberty and tell a good story.” Nagisa replied, squeezing Rei’s hand. He gave his hand a gentle tug, gesturing for the taller boy to lay beside him, and Rei happily obliged. “Nobody will judge you for that.” Nagisa turned onto his side, his head resting on one arm while the other adjusted the taller boy’s glasses for him again, and he leaned in close enough that Rei could see every individual eyelash, each tiny little freckle, on Nagisa’s face. 

 

Without thinking about what he was doing, he leaned in, gently kissing the smaller boy on the forehead, then on his cheek, his nose, his chin, and finally his lips. He could feel Nagisa’s smile, and the other boy pressed himself as close to Rei as he could get, hand resting gently on his cheek when they pulled back. Nagisa’s eyes twinkled in the light, and he brushed his fingers over Rei’s skin in a way that the taller boy had never been touched before. 

 

“I love you.” Rei told him, honesty in every inch of his face. “I love everything about you.” he gently put a hand over the other’s heart, feeling it beating just a little too fast under his palm. “You’re perfect.” 

 

Nagisa breathed a laugh, laying his forehead against Rei’s, and closed his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I love you, too, Rei Ryuugazaki.” 

 

Both boys knew, if they could have been given the chance, they would have stayed in that moment forever. Where the world was quiet, where souls were vulnerable, and two young hearts, even though they were terrified to take the leap, jumped headfirst into the love that would last a lifetime. 

 

~~~~

 

After that, Nagisa found every excuse he could think of to spend time with Rei in the mornings. When he wasn’t needed on stage, he was slipping away to find the writer, to help him with his work, or to distract him; whichever seemed more amusing to the smaller boy at the time. 

 

Somehow, Nagisa had even worked his way into the writing/editing process between Makoto and Rei whenever he could get a minute. Rei liked it, but he often found himself staring at the smaller boy more than his typewriter, and that wasn’t helping anybody get anything finished. 

 

Nagisa was supposed to be keeping Sousuke entertained during his time in France, but he couldn’t keep away from Rei for long. He loved the feelings the taller boy stirred up inside of him. He loved the butterflies in his stomach, the tension that was building between the two of them, the reactions Rei gave him whenever they touched, or kissed, or  _ anything,  _ really. Rei moved like butterfly, always fluttering nervously whenever the smaller boy put his hands on him. Nagisa would have been lying if he said it didn’t amuse him. 

  
  
  


“Have you ever been in love before?” Nagisa asked for a second time, one afternoon when they were backstage. 

 

“I thought we’d established that I’m stupidly in love with you?” Rei answered. 

 

Nagisa chuckled, turning to the other boy with a small roll of his eyes. “I mean before me. Have you ever been in love with anyone besides me?” 

 

“No.” He said simply, looking up from his script. “I’d never even kissed anyone before you.” 

 

Well, that explained a lot, Nagisa thought. “After.. After the show opens, I’m telling Gou that I can’t do this anymore. It’s not good business for the star courtesan to give his heart to one person, when there are so many willing to give theirs to me. Even if it’s just for a night.” A disbelieving smile tugged at Nagisa’s lips, and he turned to Rei. “You were never supposed to come into my life, but here you are. Perfect, beautiful, and everything I never dared to let myself hope for.” 

 

He’d moved next to the taller boy, his arms wrapped around him with his chin resting on Rei’s shoulder. Nagisa closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, gently nudging his glasses as he did so. “You’ve ruined me, Rei. And I couldn’t be happier about it.” 

 

Rei’s body stiffened under his touch, but he was used to it by now. It was his nervous reaction to any time they touched, like he didn’t know what to do next. “W-Well, you’re welcome, then?” He replied nervously. He tried to relax, he really did, but he felt like he was being shocked every time he was touched by the other boy. He still wasn’t used to having Nagisa to himself like this, and despite their time together, and their confessed feelings, Rei still felt as afraid as he did the night they met, up in the elephant. 

 

They sat together for a little while in silence, Rei working on his script, and Nagisa laying his head in his lap and eventually dozing off. He gave up working after about ten minutes, set his paper down, and turned his full attention to the smaller boy. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and carded his fingers through Nagisa’s hair. 

 

Lost in the moment, Rei didn’t notice the footsteps coming up from the stage until a pair of feet were pretty much right in front of him. He finally looked up, seeing Makoto standing there, a gentle smile on his face. “We knew it was only a matter of time.” He told him. “You two were just drawn to each other from the minute you met.” 

 

“Was it that obvious?” He replied. 

 

Makoto nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. “I hate to do this, but Sousuke is asking where he went. We kinda need him to make a reappearance.”

 

“Oh, yes, of course.” Rei said, clearing his throat as he shook Nagisa gently. “Hey,” he told him softly, watching the other boy blink himself awake. “They need you out there, but you can come back and find me later.” 

 

Nagisa blinked a couple more times as he registered what Rei was saying, and finally turned his head up to Makoto. He slowly got to his feet, rubbing at his eyes and trying to appear more awake than he was, and followed the other boy out.

 

Rei watched him go, a small bit of longing creeping up inside him as he realized how much he really wanted Nagisa to come back and continue his nap. Later, though, he supposed, as he gathered up the script and headed out to watch rehearsals with everyone else. 

 

~~~~

 

Later never came that day. Nagisa had been whisked away by Sousuke after rehearsals for an evening walk, and Rei was talked into going out for a few drinks with the guys. 

 

They all stumbled back to their respective apartments nearing one in the morning. Rei, the least intoxicated of all of them, leading the way while Haru hung off of Makoto and pressed kisses all over his cheeks and neck, and Nitori and Rin in the very back, giggling to themselves and gripping each other’s hands so they didn’t get separated. Rei got all of them into their apartment and saw that they got to bed safely before heading back downstairs to his own after a few affirmations that they loved him, too. Exhausted, tipsy, and knowing he had a horrid headache waiting for him in the morning, he fell into his bed and lay back, watching the windmill atop the Moulin Rouge spin until he finally drifted off. 

  
  


It felt like he’d only been asleep a few moments when he heard the knocking. Gentle tappings at first that grew louder as the seconds ticked by. Rei blinked his eyes open, surprised to find that his glasses were askew on his face. He stumbled out of bed, going to the door and opening it. 

 

Nagisa stood in front of him, eyes troubled but glad to see him. The smaller boy slipped inside, wrapping his arms around Rei and laying his head on his chest when the door was closed.

 

“N-Nagisa, what are you doing here this late?” Rei asked,voice slurred by both alcohol and the dregs of sleep. 

 

“I wanted to see you,” he told him, still clinging to the taller boy. “Sousuke, he’s insufferable. His hands were all over me, and I just wanted to leave. He asked me to stay the night, but I couldn’t.. I just…” He sighed, pulling back. “It made me miss you that much more.” 

 

It took a moment for that to register for Rei, but once he understood, he wrapped the smaller boy tighter in his arms, and pressed a kiss to the top of Nagisa’s head. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Before he realized what was happening, Nagisa’s arms were around his neck, and he was being pulled down into a deep kiss. Nagisa twisted his fingers into Rei’s hair, walking him backwards to his bed until the taller boy’s legs bent and he was sitting in front of him. Nagisa swallowed, pulling back from Rei for a moment while he unbuttoned his shirt, letting it slip from his arms fall into a small pool of fabric on the ground. He turned his auburn eyes back to Rei, and went back for another kiss. 

 

His fingers got to work on getting the button’s undone on the taller boy’s shirt, his fingers exploring the skin underneath. Rei shuddered. Every touch, every brush of skin, seemed to electrify him. Rei writhed beneath his hands, and it brought Nagisa the strangest form of pleasure to see him fall apart so easily with something so simple. 

 

Rei’s eyes followed every move he made, and though he seemed to be enjoying himself, Nagisa could tell he was every bit as nervous now as he was that first night. The smaller boy leaned in, smiling gently at his lover, and kissed his cheek. “Relax, let me,” he whispered, hearing Rei whimper under him. 

 

Rei moved his hands, and in the quiet moment, Nagisa could hear a belt unfastening. A smile tugged at his lips, and he gently pushed Rei back onto the mattress while he helped get his trousers out of the way. Nagisa would have been lying if he said that seeing Rei lying there  wearing nothing but the moonlight, lips slightly parted and looking up at him in anticipation, was anything short of beautiful. He stood back for a moment, admiring the sight before him, before letting his own trousers fall out of the way and taking that final plunge.

 

~~~~~

Sunlight peeked in through the open curtain and bathed the entire room in warm, golden light. Rei stirred, not daring to open his eyes until he absolutely had to. He was right about the headache, but he wasn’t exactly sure about the other bit of pain or what exactly happened. He moved just a little, and his arm brushed across skin that wasn’t his own. Panicked, he opened his eyes and saw another body laying there next to him.

 

A shaggy tuft of blond hair stuck out from the top of the head, and a few blurry memories came back to him. Nagisa showing up. A kiss. Skin on skin… Oh, god, they really spent the night together, didn’t they? 

 

Rei reached over, grabbing his glasses just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, and smiled at the smaller boy when he realized it wasn’t a dream. Nagisa was there, in his bed, every bit as nude as he was. Not seeing any reason why he needed to get up right then, he lay back on his side, wrapping his arm around his lover again, and pulled him closer. Rei pressed a soft kiss to Nagisa’s shoulder, still in a bit of disbelief over what had happened, and then one to the back of his head. 

 

The contact must have been enough to rouse him, because the smaller boy stirred, turning enough that he was able to look at Rei, and smiled. “Good morning,” he said tiredly, slipping his arm around the taller boy and snuggling up close to him. “You have no idea how nice it is waking up with you.” He told him. 

 

“It’s not so bad waking up next to you, either.” 

 

That pulled a small giggle out of Nagisa and he looked up at Rei, the morning sun lighting up his eyes and making them seem brighter than before. “Thank you for last night.” 

 

Rei laughed, leaning in for another kiss from Nagisa, and shook his head. “ _ I _ should be thanking  _ you _ . It’s no wonder you’re the star courtesan.” 

 

Nagisa rolled his eyes, laying his head against Rei’s chest, and yawned. “Flattery won’t get you that far with me.” 

 

“It’s not flattery, it’s the truth. If we didn’t have rehearsals, I’d ask you to do it again.” 

 

Nagisa thought about it for a moment before pulling himself out of Rei’s arms and straddling his legs. “I don’t think it would be terrible if we showed up a little late.” 

 

~~~

 

They were almost a half hour late because Rei couldn’t keep his hands off the smaller boy long enough for them to get dressed. Every time Nagisa attempted to get up, his lover would grumble and pull him back into bed. He didn’t put up too much of a fight, considering it meant that he could forget about Sousuke for a little bit longer. 

 

“Rei, we need to go,” Nagisa said, reluctantly pulling himself out of Rei’s arms. “They’re going to start asking questions.” 

 

Rei tried to pull him back, but the smaller boy was too fast. “Let them ask.” He replied, finally crawling out of his bed and looking around for his pants. “What are they gonna say, anyways? Who’s going to care?” 

 

“Sousuke.” he said, buttoning his shirt. “And then all of this will be for nothing. It’s just a little longer, and then it won’t matter. We’ll be far away from here, and--” Nagisa was cut off by a coughing fit and was unable to catch his breath. Rei sat him in his desk chair, his hand on his shoulder, and looking at him with concern. When Nagisa pulled his hand back, the taller boy caught a glimpse of something red staining his handkerchief. 

 

“What was that?” he asked. 

 

Nagisa shook his head, still gasping for breath. “Nothing.” he wheezed, laying a hand on Rei’s arm. “It’s nothing,” he sat there for a moment, breathing heavily, and kept a hand on the other boy before finally trying to get back to his feet and get his shoes. “We need to go.” 

 

“Right, just…” Rei leaned in, kissing the other boy again and twisting his fingers in his hair. Nagisa wrapped his arms around Rei’s neck and backed him against the door, pinning him there for a moment.

 

The next thing he knew, he was eye level with the taller boy, his legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and his hair sticking up at odd ends. When he finally pulled back, he pressed his forehead against Rei’s and giggled, pressing a gentle kiss to his nose before sliding out of his arms and landing back on the floor. His glasses were once again a mess, so Nagisa reached up and fixed them for him. “We really need to go.” he explained.

 

Rei nodded, taking Nagisa’s hand, and led him out the door. 

 

~~

Nagisa held Rei’s hand as they crossed the street, plastered to his side and trying to hide his giggle fit. His hair was a mess, and Rei’s was even worse, along with his normally neat shirt being a rumpled disaster. 

 

“We can’t go in together.” Nagisa said, stopping at the front door and letting his hand slide out of the taller boy’s. “Let me go first, wait a few moments, and then follow me.” He leaned up, trying in vein to smooth Rei’s hair down some. “I’ll see you in a minute.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! Have y'all been enjoying this so far? I hope so! Thank you guys for being patient with me. Updates might be a little farther between now. I still have a bit to edit, and I still have to finish writing the story. I have family coming into town this weekend, and with Thanksgiving being next Thursday, I just don't know if I'll have a lot of time to get everything done. If it takes me awhile, I'm so sorry. I'll try to keep everyone updated, and if nothing else, I'm going to try getting chapter 5 posted ASAP. After that, I might have angry fans banging at my door demanding updates after not hearing from me for six months...
> 
> I hope all of you have a safe and fun weekend!!


	5. Come What May

Rei watched him go and let out a small sigh, not ready to let the spell of their morning be broken just yet. He wanted to crawl back into the early moments of their day, back into bed before Nagisa had woken up, and stay just a little longer. He leaned against the side of the building, idly watching the people walk by, and his own breath puff slightly in the chilly autumn air. 

 

He wondered what the reaction was when Nagisa slipped inside, his hair still a bit of a mess, and his lips swollen and pink from a few too many stolen kisses. Would people ask about it? Would they assume where he’d spent the night? Would anybody care at all? 

 

Would Sousuke notice? 

 

That thought made him regret their late morning, because  _ of course _ Sousuke would notice. He was probably the first one here this morning, waiting for everyone to show up, and when the seconds ticked by and Nagisa wasn’t making an appearance… God, he was stupid. He’d probably just put all of their futures in danger because he didn’t want to let Nagisa go right then.

 

They hadn’t done a spectacular job of keeping things a secret, and he knew that. It was obvious to anyone who spent time around them that there was something going on. Some chemistry that went beyond professional. They spent a lot of time together, Nagisa was with him every chance he could slip away… Sousuke wasn’t an idiot, and had most likely seen a lot of it, hadn’t he? Rei shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold siding, and exhaled. This was too much to worry about all at once, too much stress had been placed on all of their shoulders and adding love into the whole thing just made it that much more complicated. He couldn’t wait until the play actually opened and this whole mess would be behind them, and Sousuke would be on his merry little way back home. 

 

He couldn’t wait until they were free of all of this.

 

~~~

When Rei walked inside, he realized how good of a call Nagisa had made on making them go in separately. Sousuke was front and center, eyes focused on the courtesan and nothing else. Rei tried to stick near the back for a moment, trying not to draw too much attention to his arrival in hopes that he could slip by unnoticed by the investor. 

 

He barely dared to inhale too loud for fear of being overheard. Maybe he could use the excuse that he’d overslept. Rei waited by the door for a moment, his eyes on the stage, and, more importantly, Nagisa. He  _ owned _ the stage, the crowd, the scene… He was  _ born  _ for this. 

 

He watched with a smile on his face as he inched closer, completely captivated by the smaller boy’s light, and the energy he brought with him. Without realizing it, he’d fallen into a chair almost directly behind Sousuke, both too transfixed with their courtesan to notice. 

 

The scene they were running through was immediately recognized by Rei. It was the one he’d been writing that day that Nagisa came back to check on him for the first time. The scene where the lead began to realize he was moving on. It was a monologue followed by a song, and Nagisa played his part flawlessly. 

 

~~~~

 

When the scene was over, Rei picked himself up out of his seat and went to the stage to compliment Nagisa on a job well done. He stood at the side, waiting for him to finish talking to Haru and another boy he thought whose name was Momo, and grinned when Nagisa noticed he was there. 

 

He was about to start heading over, when a hand grabbed his arm. “You need to be more careful.” It was Rin, barely speaking above a whisper. “Sousuke wants him pretty badly, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get him. I heard a rumor that he’s planning on asking Nagisa to marry him after the play opens.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“That’s what Momo said. He went to talk to Gou about it a few days ago. Apparently he promised all kinds of financial support to the renovations to the Moulin Rouge if he could have Nagisa…”

 

Rei’s eyes flickered back up to the stage, to the love of his life, and felt his heart constricting in his chest. What if he actually lost Nagisa in the end, after everything? The smile slipped from his face, and his hands shook in the pockets of his coat. “Hopefully, it’s just that - a rumor. Maybe Momo misheard.” 

 

“Could be, but still… Keep your guard up.” 

 

Rei nodded, needing to hold it together for a little longer, and thanked Rin for the information. His friend took his leave after that, and it was only then that Rei realized Sousuke had slid past them and was talking to Nagisa. 

 

“You did wonderful.” He told the courtesan, taking his hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss. “Would it be too much trouble to ask you to join me for dinner this evening?” 

 

Nagisa’s eyes flickered to Rei for half a second, and then back to the investor. “I would love to, but there is still so much to do for the play… I believe there was a meeting between the writers and the actors for this evening?” He looked around for help. 

 

“Y-Yes, there was!” Rei spoke, shooting what he helped was an apologetic look to Sousuke. “We’re nearing the end of the actual  _ play  _ part of it, and then we’re going to go back and revise the songs, and see what we should keep, what everyone can actually  _ sing,  _ and things like that. We’ll bring the revisions tomorrow for you to look over.”  

 

“I could sit in and hel--” 

 

“No!” Rei and Nagisa said together, scaring the life out of the investor. 

 

Nagisa shot him a quick look, and turned back to Sousuke. “What Mr. Ryuugazaki and myself mean is, a few of our actors have a lot of trouble around an audience. And having more than just us there might give them a bit of stage fright. Some of them have it so bad that they might not be able to perform at all. Which is why we’re going to decide that tonight. Maybe later on this week, I’ll take you up on your offer?’ 

 

“Of course.” Sousuke replied, looking rather dejected. “Another time then, Nagisa.” 

 

“Another time.” The smaller boy agreed, waving a quick goodbye to the investor before turning to Rei and mouthing a quick  _ thank you  _ to him. 

 

~~~~

 

They did, in fact, all get together that night for an emergency play meeting. It was agreed that Nagisa would be taking the brunt of the songs, but Rin and Haru both agreed to lend their voices after a surprising revelation that they could both actually carry a tune and weren’t afraid to sing. 

 

As the night went on, and the list of issues with their script and the lyrics grew smaller and smaller, the drinks began to flow steadier and steadier. Haru had put back nearly half a bottle of wine on his own, and clung to Makoto with every ounce of strength he still had. Nitori was putting it away pretty quickly too, and was about to either fall asleep or throw up when Rin finally decided he should make him lay down. The two took their leave, and Momo decided he should go, too. 

 

It left the four of them together, and since Makoto already knew about them, Rei let himself relax a little around Nagisa. The smaller boy slipped his hand into Rei’s and let out a small laugh. “You’d never guess Haru would be so affectionate when he’s sober,” he murmured, watching their two friends. 

 

“He’s always full of surprises.” Makoto agreed, brushing a strand of hair out of his boyfriend’s eyes.

 

“I dunno if I’ve told you this, but I love you.” Haru was saying, Makoto’s hand in both of his. His blue eyes were wide and full of the most innocent form of honesty as he spoke, and it reminded Rei of a little kid. 

 

Makoto shot him that patient smile that was almost always reserved for Haru, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You have, but it’s not something I get tired of hearing. I love you too, Haru.” 

 

“I’m glad.” Haru replied, laying his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and closing his eyes. 

 

“I think I better get him to bed,” Makoto told them, carefully getting to his feet and trying not to jostle Haru too much. He took both of his hands, gently getting the drunk boy to his feet, and allowed him to lean heavily on his shoulder. “We’ll see you guys later.” He said, waving them a quick goodbye. 

 

“I love you…” They heard Haru saying as they walked up the stairs.

 

Rei got up, then, chuckling to himself, and shut his door. He turned back to Nagisa, his smile growing wider as their eyes met. “I think that’s the most words I’ve ever heard Haru say at one time.” 

 

Nagisa laughed, getting up to meet Rei halfway, and snaked his arms around the taller boy’s waist. He laid his head against Rei’s chest and closed his eyes, just wanting to take the moment in. “He wants me to sleep with him.” He said after a moment. “He’s very insistent about it.” 

 

Rei stiffened a little upon hearing this, and swallowed before answering. “What are you gonna do?” 

 

“What  _ can  _ I do, Rei? If I don’t, we lose everything we’ve been working for. If I do…” He looked up at the taller boy, worry in every inch of his face. “If I do, please, promise me you won’t get jealous.” 

 

“I won’t get jealous.” He answered.

 

Nagisa pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself and staring out the window. “You say that now, but when it comes down to it, will you feel the same?” He turned back to look at him, tears in his auburn eyes, and fear in his heart. “Just promise me, when I go to see him, you won’t leave me. No matter what, you’ll stay with me.” 

 

“Nagisa, I--” 

 

“Promise me, Rei. Right now, promise me that you’ll still be here when it’s over.” 

 

Rei nodded, reaching out and taking Nagisa’s hands in his. “I promise. Nothing will change my love for you.  _ Nothing _ .” 

 

Nagisa closed his eyes, falling forward against Rei’s chest and clinging to him. “How can I know you’re not just saying that.” 

 

He thought about it for a moment, looking around for anything that could help him out, and his eyes landed on his typewriter. “We’ll put it in a song, and slip it into the show.” He decided. “Nobody has to know, it can be the last song in the play, and it will be our secret.. No matter what, if you sing it, or you hear it, we’ll be with each other. We’ll know that we love each other.” 

 

“Okay.” Nagisa whispered, sitting on Rei’s bed. 

 

The taller boy sat down beside him, taking his hand, and gave it a small squeeze. “I never knew that I could feel like this.” He said. “It’s like I’ve never seen the sky before.” Nagisa leaned into him, needing to be as close to Rei as he could get, and clung to him. “I want to vanish inside your kiss…” 

 

As a response, Nagisa leaned in, brushing a kiss to the taller boy’s lips. 

 

Rei chuckled. “I think I have the beginnings of the song.” He told him, getting to his feet and leading Nagisa over to his desk. He began writing down lyrics, humming a tune to himself as he did so, occasionally looking up at Nagisa and letting those auburn eyes envelop him in their warmth for a moment before getting back to it. 

 

After nearly an hour, he finally set his pen down and picked up the paper, looking at Nagisa as he took a breath and began to sing. 

 

_ Never knew, I could feel like this _

_ Like I’ve never seen the sky before _

_ Want to vanish inside your kiss _

_ Every day I’m lovin’ you  _

_ More and more _

_ Listen to my heart, can you it sing _

_ Telling me to give you everything…  _

 

Nagisa got up from his seat and wrapped his arms around Rei’s waist, leaning against him and reading the words on the page. “It’s beautiful.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

 

~~~~

 

After the song was finished, Makoto and the others were woken up to get their opinion - and approval -, and by that point, Rei was exhausted. He took Nagisa’s hand, and the two dropped into his bed. The smaller boy curled close to him once he lay back, his arms wrapped around Rei’s middle and his head on his shoulder. 

 

Rei leaned down, pressing a kiss to Nagisa’s forehead, and removed his glasses for the night. “We won’t have to worry about him soon.” He whispered, though Rin’s earlier words came back to him. What if Momo had been telling the truth? What if Sousuke  _ did  _ intend on asking Nagisa to marry him after it was over? What would they do then? Of course, he knew the smaller boy loved him, he  _ knew _ that, but…

 

He also loved the Moulin Rouge and his family there. If Sousuke really  _ did  _ promise a better future for them, there was no way a penniless writer could compete with that. 

 

Rei sighed, wrapping his arm around Nagisa, and closed his eyes. Hopefully, Momo had heard wrong, and it would just be a night together with no strings attached. He could handle that. If it meant that the investor was out of their lives forever, he could handle it. 

  
  


~~~~

 

Rei watched as the sky went faded from black to pink, Nagisa curled in his arms and sleeping peacefully. Despite his exhaustion both mentally and physically, he’d found it impossible to sleep. His mind around in circles all night, wondering and worrying over the future and what it held for them, and then trying to calm down when he felt on the verge of a panic attack. It hadn’t worked, and the lack of sleep was making it all that much worse. 

 

Finally, Nagisa began to stir, slowly blinking himself awake, and gave Rei a tired smile. “You’re already awake.” He said, his voice slow with drowsiness. He leaned in, giving the taller boy a kiss on the cheek, and stretched. “How long have you been up?” 

 

“Awhile,” Rei shrugged, leaning in for another kiss. “How’d you sleep?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as tired as he felt. Rei got to his feet, hoping he imagined his legs trying to give out on him, and grabbed his shirt from the end of his bed. Maybe he could slip away and take a nap backstage once they got rehearsals started… 

 

“Better than I have in years.” Nagisa replied, grabbing his pants from the floor and sliding them on. “But sleeping is easy when you have the love of your life beside you.” 

 

_ I wouldn’t be so sure about that.  _ Rei thought, turning his back to Nagisa for a moment while he grabbed his own trousers. “Do you think Makoto seemed excited about the song?” 

 

Nagisa frowned, not liking the tone in Rei’s voice, or his deflection of his last comment. Normally, it would fluster him or have him stammering out some kind of reply that sent butterflies dashing around in his stomach. Something didn’t feel right, here. “Rei, is someth--”  

 

“We’re gonna be late.” He interrupted, holding his hand out for the other boy. “It’s going to be a long day.” 

 

Sighing, Nagisa slipped his shoes on and followed him out the door. It was going to be a long day indeed. 

 

~~

 

They arrived together, stood beside each other, and Nagisa was using any excuse he could to stay close to the writer. Any chance he could take to put a hand on him, or glance at him, or do anything with him, he took it, and Sousuke didn’t like it. It seemed like they were spending an awful lot of time together lately, and he didn’t think they could seriously be working on lines all that time. What were they really doing? 

 

He saw the writer sitting at the side of the stage, his eyes fixed on Nagisa, and jealousy tore at his heart. Sousuke had half a mind to have him escorted from the building and be asked not to return. His script was good, though, and even though he hated it, he knew they needed him. 

 

Suddenly, the writer stood, walking up onto the stage beside Nagisa, and cleared his throat. “We - We’ve finalized the closing song, and if it’s okay, Nagisa and I would like to play it for everyone?” 

 

There was a murmur of encouragement through the rest of the cast, and the two turned to each other, each taking a breath, and the writer began to sing. 

 

Sousuke watched the two of them, their body language, the looks on the writer’s face, and he didn’t like it one bit. Fury burned hot inside of him as he watched the spectacle in front of him, and swallowed angrily. It was obvious to him that the writer was in love with his beloved Nagisa, and from the look in the smaller boy’s eyes, it was mutual. 

 

_ Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?  _

_ Telling me to give you everything  _

_ Seasons may change, winter to spring _

_ But I’ll love you, until the end of time.  _

 

The smile on Nagisa’s face, the look in his eyes, nothing about this felt right. This wasn’t just acting, this was  _ real  _ honest-to-god emotion, and he did not like one bit of it. 

 

_ Come what may. _

_ Come what may. _

_ I will love you _

_ Until my dying day.  _

 

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, and slammed his foot down onto the floor, halting the performance and glaring up at all of them. “I don’t like this ending! I want it changed!” He shouted. “Why would anyone pick the penniless actor over the rich ex?! Why would anyone pick love over wealth?!” 

 

“Because he doesn’t love you!” Rei shouted, his own fury bright in his eyes.

 

“Oh, I see. It appears that our own  _ penniless writer _ has a bit of a crush on our courtesan.” 

 

Nagisa swallowed, eyes flickering one last time to Rei standing beside him, longing to take his hand as an assurance that what he was about to do meant nothing, but there was no way he could. Not now. He only prayed the other boy would keep his promise. He took a deep breath, and started down the steps. 

 

“Now, now, Sousuke,” he started, his eyes hooded and his smile damn near predatory, “it’s just a story. Rei’s been overworked for nearly a month, he’s not slept well. He didn’t mean anything by what he said. Don’t hold it against him.” He didn’t take his eyes off the dark haired boy at all as he walked towards him, chin held high and hips swaying  _ just  _ enough to keep his attention. He reached Sousuke, slipping his arms around his neck and leaning in close to him. “We need him if we expect to make this work. I promise that with his help, I’ll make it worth your while.” He promised, leaning in close enough that his lips were just out of reach. “How would you feel about getting together to discuss a few things? Say, tomorrow night, around eight o’ clock? I think I can keep my schedule clear enough for dinner.” 

 

“I think it sounds like a date.” Sousuke replied, about to kiss him when Nagisa pulled away, flashing him a sultry little look before turning away completely and hurrying back up to the stage. 

~~~

 

Rei had watched the entire exchange frozen in his spot. Sousuke’s outburst, Nagisa’s quick thinking, and the moment that passed between the two of them. Jealousy burned him up inside, and he wanted to scream. A small, logical part of him knew that this would have to happen, he’d just discussed it with him the night before, but still... Seeing it actually play out in front of him was a thousand times worse than he could have imagined. 

 

Bile churned in his stomach, and everything inside of him was screaming at him to say something, to tell the investor to take his money and shove it up his ass and that they’d deal with everything themselves, but he couldn’t do that. More than anything, his friends needed this. He couldn’t afford to put all of them in jeopardy because he was  _ jealous.  _

 

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Before anybody could stop him, he was off the stage, around the back side of the sets, and slipping out the door. He leaned against the side of the building, his eyes closed and his fists clenched at his sides, and kept reminding himself that he promised Nagisa that he wouldn’t react this way. He couldn’t let the other boy see him like this. He needed to calm down. Fast. 

 

What he needed was to get away from this place. He needed to clear his head, and being here, knowing Sousuke was inside, his greedy eyes all over the smaller boy, was about to make him sick. Rage pounded inside his skull, strong enough Rei was amazed that it hadn’t cracked it by now. 

 

He set off in a random direction and walked with his head down, trying in vain to wipe the image of Nagisa in Sousuke’s arms from his mind. 

 

~~~~

 

He was gone for the rest of the afternoon and a good part of the evening, and after about an hour, his rage burned away, and he felt horrid. He felt stupid now, letting his anger get the better of him, and he didn’t like the thought of what might await him when he returned. There would be questions, questions he didn’t want to answer and things he didn’t want to admit. Especially if Nagisa was there. too. 

 

Knowing he couldn’t put it off forever, Rei turned around with a curse, and started for home. 

 

~~~~

 

Rei stood outside the door of his own apartment, listening for a moment to see if he could hear anybody waiting for him inside. It sounded quiet. Quiet was a good sign. Quiet meant nobody was waiting on him. With a sigh of relief, he opened the door and stepped inside. 

 

“Rei!” Came a voice, and suddenly arms were tightly around his middle and a small, blond, head rested against his chest. “What happened? Rin said he saw you leave, but nobody could find you. Where’d you go?” 

 

Still trying to recover from his scare, Rei gently wrapped Nagisa up in a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and stepping into his apartment. “I’m fine.” He told him, pulling away and going to sit in his desk chair. “I’m fine, I just needed a break this afternoon, that’s all.” 

 

Nagisa was still watching him, and Rei could clearly see the guilt in his face. “I’m so sorry.” He told him. “About this afternoon, I’m so sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be.” Rei said, holding out his hand for Nagisa to take. “We knew this was going to happen eventually. It’s better just to get it over with so he’ll leave you alone.” 

 

The smaller boy climbed up into Rei’s lap, clinging to him almost desperately. “I don’t want to go with him.” He admitted. “I really, really don’t.” 

 

Rei leaned in, brushing a kiss to the smaller boy’s lips. “Stay with me tonight. Don’t worry about tomorrow until the morning. Just stay with me.” 

 

“What’s going to happen after tomorrow?” 

 

“You’re going to wake up, you’re going to meet Sousuke and give the best performance of your life, and after it’s over, I’ll be waiting for you. Maybe we’ll come back here, and stay up the rest of the night talking, or working on the music, like we always do. Maybe our friends will be here too.” 

 

Nagisa closed his eyes, leaning heavily on the taller boy, and shut his eyes. “I love you.” He whispered. 

 

“I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just have one question: Are you all ready for a tango? ;D 
> 
> Well, it's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which means things are about to get really busy. I might be on a mini hiatus until after things settle down, but I'll *try* to get chapter six edited and posted as soon as I can. December is going to be insane, because between Christmas prep and cookie baking, I have both Star Wars and the Fullmetal Alchemist movie to watch. So I dunno how often things will be uploaded. Please bear with me. I am trying. 
> 
> The good news is: as of this moment, I am at the final scenes that I have left to write, so if I can find the time to sit at my computer without falling asleep mid-sentence whilst trying to write -looks guiltily off into the distance-, I should be finishing up soon! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope all of you, if you celebrate it, have a wonderful, safe Thanksgiving with whomever you're celebrating with, and for those of you who aren't, I hope you just have a nice and safe weekend! Also be careful if you're going out for Black Friday!


	6. El Tango De Nagisa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head's up: this is the chapter with the attempted rape. Please be careful reading, lovelies!
> 
> Also, the fantastically wonderful [manubibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manubibi/pseuds/manubibi) wrote a [fucking amazingly chill-inducing tie in for this from Sousuke's POV, so please, please, please check it out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12880218) after you finish chapter six, and shoot some love their way! They deserve it!

When Rei woke up the following morning, he realized quickly that he was alone in bed. He reached for his glasses, sat up, and blinked against the sunlight shining in through the window. 

 

Nagisa was curled up in Rei’s desk chair, a threadbare blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and his eyes fixed on the Moulin Rouge across the street. He didn’t notice or comment when Rei shifted behind him, or make any move when he got out of bed completely. Rei would have been surprised if Nagisa had even heard him. 

 

He grabbed another blanket from the bed, wrapping it around his lover’s shoulders without a word, and started off to make tea. 

 

“None of this was supposed to happen.” Nagisa said, his voice thin, without looking away from the window. “I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be on the stage, in front of crowds, I wanted to travel around France, and Europe in general… I wanted to explore cities and do what I loved.” His voice wavered at the end, and Rei looked up in time to see him wiping at his eyes. “This place - it was supposed to be temporary. I wasn’t supposed to  _ be _ a courtesan. Just a performer to draw in a crowd.” 

 

Rei stepped away from his small stove, not taking his eyes off of Nagisa, and sat down on the desk beside him. “What happened?” he asked gently. 

 

“People liked me.” He replied, laughing humorlessly. “I had fans. I had men and women both coming in to see me every night. The money was good, and I had people who  _ wanted  _ me.” Nagisa looked up at Rei desperately, hoping he understood, and sunk deeper into his blankets. “I had a family here. I had people depending on me, I couldn’t... I couldn’t walk away from them.” 

 

Rei leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to the smaller boy’s forehead, and closed his eyes. His heart broke for his lover. They never really discussed Nagisa’s past like this before; He knew he’d wanted to be an actor, but not much else. He leaned back, waiting for him to continue.

 

“And then you came. And Rei, the only thing I’ve wanted since I met you was to leave this place behind me. I don’t want to be here anymore..” Nagisa fell into the taller boy’s arms, gripping his shirt tightly in his hands, and sobbed. “I’m scared of what happens next.” He admitted in a whisper, clinging tighter to Rei. 

 

“Everything will be fine.” Rei promised, snaking his arms around the smaller boy. 

 

Nagisa began to cough again. Deep, hacking things that made Rei’s chest hurt just listening to it. When Nagisa gathered himself, Rei again saw a bit of what he assumed was blood on the other boy’s hand. “But what if it’s not?” Nagisa wheezed. 

 

“It will be.” 

 

Nagisa shut his eyes, letting the taller boy hold him until it didn’t feel like he was going to break apart anymore. 

 

~~~~

They said their goodbyes after a cup of tea. Rei walked him to the door, leaned down, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. He held Nagisa’s chin in his hand for a second, hoping he was able to reassure him that everything would be okay when all was said and done. 

 

“I’ll see you tonight, then?” 

 

“I’ll be waiting here.” 

 

Nagisa smiled, leaning up on his tiptoes for one more quick kiss, before finally taking his leave. Rei watched him go, holding his composure until Nagisa was out of sight, and then let all of his positivity drain away. 

 

Tonight would decide once and for all who would win Nagisa’s heart in the end. 

 

~~~~

 

They weren’t having rehearsals that day in order to give Nagisa a bit of a break while he prepared himself for the task at hand. Rei stayed behind, not wanting to get in the way, or have his anxiety over what might happen ruin what little resolve the other boy had managed to gather since he left. 

 

He found out from Haru that the Moulin Rouge had also been closed for the occasion. 

 

Their friends dropped by later to check in on him, and after finding Rei in a worried state, just decided to stay for a bit of a distraction. 

 

Rei sat in his chair, staring out the window, watching the people walk up and down the street, while his friends talked all around him. Makoto and Rin were bickering about something, and poor Nitori was trying in vain to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. Rei thought he heard Haru’s name pop up a couple times, and could only guess that’s who they were arguing about, but couldn’t bring himself to care that much right now. 

 

His heart hammered against his ribs faster and faster the more he thought about Nagisa. Would he be different with the investor than he was with him, or would he give him the same touches, the same kisses, the same  _ everything?  _ Was there a difference to how Nagisa treated him when they were alone, or was it all the same in the end?

And then Sousuke… An image of those greedy eyes taking in Nagisa’s small body, the almost sick pleasure he seemed to get out of watching him, flashed through his mind, and Rei felt his stomach lurch. Would he be gentle with Nagisa, or would he be selfish? Would he hurt him? 

 

Rei wasn’t aware that he started shaking until Haru grabbed his arm and startled him. “Are you alright?” He asked, concern in his eyes. “You don’t look so good.” 

 

“I - I’m fine…” Rei lied, taking his arm back and trying to will it to stop shaking before it got worse. “Really, I just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

 

Haru cast him a doubtful look, but decided he had bigger things to worry about at the moment. Whatever the others were arguing about, it seemed to be getting worse, and he knew he needed to step in before they ended up screaming at each other.

 

Rei was glad for the distraction created by the others. His eyes once again found the door to the building, and he could feel anxiety dripping into every thought he had. The feeling of ice sliding down his back and chilling his blood had overtaken any and all rational thought. Panic seized his chest as he thought about Nagisa showing up to his room with injuries too numerous to count and begging for help. God, he needed to get a grip. 

 

His mind kept churning out worse and worse scenarios on all sides of the scale, and it was enough to drive him mad. He tried to focus on what his friends were saying around him, but his mind was too loud for him to grasp on anything longer than a sentence or two at a time. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand, trying to snap himself out of whatever was happening, but it didn’t do much to help stop the feeling of the walls closing in around him. 

 

All he could do was sit and wait for the inevitable. 

 

~~ 

 

The sun had begun to set on the day, and a small voice from the back of Rei’s head reminded him that it wasn’t too late to run. He still had about an hour before Nagisa had to leave to meet Sousuke. Maybe… Maybe if he were quick, he could convince him to leave before he had to go...

 

He sat there for a few more moments, entertaining the idea, before he couldn’t stand it anymore. Without a word, he got to his feet, stepped out the door, and hurried down the stairs and across the street. He slipped inside the Moulin Rouge, keeping to the shadows as he made his way to Nagisa’s room.

 

“No, you have nothing to worry about.” Came a familiar voice. Rei stopped short, taking cover behind a set piece, and listened. “The writer, the poor, silly, writer… We need him, Sousuke. We need him, and the only way to do that is to keep entertaining these - these…  _ fantasies _ he has of being with me. He’s convinced after the play opens, we’re going to run away together.” 

 

Fantasies? Rei thought. What fantasies? Nagisa was the one who’d come onto him initially, wasn’t he? No, no, something wasn’t right. Nagisa wouldn’t say that…would he?  _ Told you so.  _ A voice in the back of his mind whispered.  _ Nobody like Nagisa would ever be caught dead with the penniless writer _ . 

 

There wasn’t anything that he could offer him that would be worth it in the end, and deep down, Rei knew that. He knew that whatever was between them wouldn’t last, but he’d at least hoped it was _ mutual. _

 

Why had Nagisa let it go on like this if he didn’t feel it too? 

 

Rei caught a glimpse of a blond head walking across the room towards a dark haired boy that made his insides claw with jealousy. They weren’t supposed to be meeting yet. What was Sousuke doing here already?! 

 

“The poor fool, little does he know, you have your eyes on better things.” 

 

Nagisa chuckled, leaning in and brushing a kiss to Sousuke’s cheek. “A fool indeed.” 

 

Rei swallowed, having heard enough, and quietly made his way out. He pushed the door open, blinking in the dregs of sunlight, and headed back to his apartment. A fool, huh? Is that all he was, now? Just a fool who dared to believe someone like Nagisa could love him? 

 

He should have known better. He should have known better than to let his heart call the shots. 

 

~~~

 

Thankfully, his friends had dispersed by the time he got back. He needed quiet. He needed time to think about what he’d just heard and process it all. 

 

Rei took a breath, eyes drifting to the typewriter on his desk and the last bits of the remaining rewrites of the script sticking out. Could he even stand to finish it, now that he’d overheard what he did?

 

His eyes landed on Nagisa’s rumpled shirt still on his floor, and all of his anger drained away and was replaced with a deep longing for what he wasn’t even sure he had to begin with. Nagisa had to have felt something for him, didn’t he? Why else would he have spent so much time here with him if he didn’t? 

 

_ “We need him, Sousuke.”  _ Was that it, then? Was he just a fool that lost his heart to a courtesan? At the end of the day, was that the only thing that Nagisa thought him as? 

 

Rei ran his hands back through his hair, his eyes shut and his anxiety and heart fighting about what the last month of his life had really been. 

 

He had no idea what to believe anymore. 

 

~~~

 

“Why don’t you come with us?” The question had come from Makoto, who stopped by while the others were on their way out. “It’ll be better for you not to be alone and thinking about this stuff all night. We’ll try to have fun.” He smiled that innocent smile of his, and Rei knew he’d just been talked into it. 

 

According to Makoto, everyone was getting together across the street, since anxiety seemed to be running high through the whole cast. Nobody trusted Sousuke as far as they could throw him, and it was making everyone a bit crazy worrying what he would do to the much smaller Nagisa once they were alone. Gou had decided at the last minute to have everyone get together for support, to try getting their minds off of it all for a bit. What she had in mind, nobody really knew. 

 

Sighing, Rei grabbed his jacket, pushed his glasses back up, and followed Makoto out the door. “You really need to stop that, you know.” He muttered. “It’s no wonder Haru’s putty in your hands. You have an unfair advantage.” 

 

That got a genuine laugh out of his tall friend, and they joined the others out front.

 

Rei followed along behind the others, his worries still screaming in the back of his mind over what he’d overheard, and he longed to get one of his friends alone to ask them about it. He took his regular spot at the foot of the stairs leading up to the stage, and watched as everyone gathered around. For what, though, he wasn’t sure. 

 

His eyes landed on Gou bounding up to her older brother with a giant smile on her face. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but both siblings turned towards him, and Rei wanted nothing more than to shrink away into the darkness. 

 

Things fell silent, and he swallowed, turning his eyes to his feet on the ground and trying to tune the sound of footfalls and scraping chairs out. When he looked back up, the floor had been cleared, and everyone was pairing off into couples. Momo, the boy who was smitten over Gou, rushed to her side with a grin on his face and his hand outstretched. She took it. 

 

His other friends paired off together, naturally, and Rei only hoped that they didn’t ask him to dance with someone too. 

 

Momo went to the middle of the floor, eyes not leaving Gou’s face as she followed him out, and he began to speak. “They’ve always said the best stories are the ones that break your heart.” He started. “The best love stories, the ones that are fast-paced, but extinguish before their time. The ones filled with passion, anger, suspicion, betrayal. Jealousy… that can drive you insane.” 

 

Gou reached him, and the two began their dance; a sensual tango that spun them from one corner of the floor to the other, while the others around them began to sing. 

 

_ Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red light _

_ Walk the streets for money, you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right _

_ Roxanne! You don’t have to wear that dress tonight. _

_ Roxanne! You don’t have to sell your body to the night _

 

Rei watched the display with wide eyes, watching the dancers and listening to their words, and felt his heart constrict in his chest. It all hit a little too close to home for his liking, and he could feel the familiar panic seeping into him like ice in his veins. He swallowed, trying to control his breathing, and eyed the exit. 

 

There was no way he could make it through without being swarmed by other couples, but he couldn’t sit here watching this anymore, either. Rei got to his feet and when nobody was looking, headed for backstage. He slumped against one of the sets and closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. The song was still echoing through the building and filling his heart with even more dread, to drown it out, he began his own. 

 

_ His eyes upon your face _

_ His hand upon your hand _

_ His lips caress your skin  _

_ It’s more than I can stand!  _

 

Rei pushed off of the set piece, his eyes straight ahead as he made his way to the back, towards the other exit. He couldn’t hear the music anymore from here, and breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the door. He slipped outside, hurrying back around to the front, and his eyes immediately went to the elephant. He could see the silhouettes of two people framed in the window and his stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. He stood there, watching them for a moment, one leaned in, and the smaller of the two met their lips with every bit as much desire as Rei had been given from Nagisa in the past. 

 

So it was all true, then. He really was a fool.

 

_ Why does my heart cry?  _

_ Feelings I can’t fight _

_ You’re free to leave me _

_ But just don’t deceive me _

_ Please, believe me when I say _

_ I love you!  _

 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off the window, no matter how badly he wanted to. Rei’s heart was begging this to stop. For something to happen to make Sosuke reconsider this, to make  _ Nagisa  _ reconsider this. He knew it was selfish, he knew that stopping this would ruin any chance that they all had for a better future, but he didn’t care. 

 

He was jealous, and he wanted this to stop. 

 

The two in the window broke apart, the smaller holding the other a little ways away from him, and he turned away. A figure appeared in at the balcony, and Rei could see, even from his spot on the ground, the shaggy mess of blond hair staring at him. 

 

In that moment, Rei had hope. Maybe Nagisa wasn’t going to leave him after all. Maybe they could survive this. 

 

The taller boy said something to the shorter, and Nagisa turned back to him, eyes darting from Rei to Sosuke and not knowing what to do. Sosuke stepped out onto the balcony, and immediately spotted him on the ground watching them. He turned back to Nagisa, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him forcefully back into the room. 

 

**** 

 

Nagisa still didn’t want to go, even when after arriving at the Moulin Rouge that afternoon. Dread filled his heart more and more as the seconds ticked down, and he longed for Rei’s arms around him promising that everything would be okay. He sat in his dressing room, staring at the wall and waited.

 

A knock broke him out of his thoughts, and he took a breath. “Come in,” he said, his voice sounding thinner than normal. 

 

A dark head of hair poked into the room, and Nagisa’s heart sank. He was half hoping it would be Rei, coming to offer some last minute encouragement, or even Gou. Really, anybody except the boy standing there. “Hello,” Sousuke said, stepping inside. 

 

“You’re early.” Nagisa replied, packing away his feelings and putting on his best flirtatious face. “I wasn’t expecting you for another hour.” 

 

“I just wanted to see you.” The other replied. “Spend a little time with you before everything got started.” 

 

Nagisa smiled, but there was no heart in it. “Well, now that you’ve got me, what do you plan to do with me?” He got up from his chair, everything inside of him screaming not to do this, to just call it off and go back home to Rei, and took the taller boy’s hand. Too much was riding on this for him to get cold feet now. No matter how badly he wanted to. 

 

Sosuke tilted his chin up gently, looking into those beautiful auburn eyes, and felt his breath catch. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re even more beautiful in person?” 

 

“Not in so many words.” Nagisa took his hand, intending to lead him out of his dressing room. If he couldn’t back out, at least he could get a move on with it before he completely lost his nerve. Sosuke stopped him, though, dragging him gently back, and pulled him in close. 

 

“I saw you with the writer yesterday.”

 

Panic. Pure, unbridled panic shot through Nagisa’s entire body. He blinked, trying to hide his emotions, and shook his head. “It’s called acting, my dear Sosuke.” He said, a little breathlessly. “It is my job, after all.” 

 

“It seems as though he’s pretty taken with you. Do I have anything to worry about?” 

 

Yes, Nagisa wanted to say, because Rei had already stolen his heart. He paused for a beat, and shook his head. “No, you have nothing to worry about.” He said aloud. “The writer, the poor, silly writer… we need him, Sousuke.” It killed him to say it, it broke his heart to put down Rei like this, but it was necessary. “We need him, and the only way to do that is to keep entertaining these - these… _fantasies_ he has of being with me. He’s convinced after the play opens, we’re going to run away together.” 

 

“The poor fool. He doesn’t realize you have your eyes on better things.” 

 

Nagisa chuckled, genuine amusement in his eyes, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “A fool indeed.” He agreed.  _ And you’re the biggest fool of them all…  _

 

Much to his disappointment, Sousuke didn’t want to just get a move on with things. He wanted to chat, he wanted to get to know Nagisa better as a person. Nagisa was running out of lies to tell. He didn’t want this man touching his life with a ten foot pole. He didn’t want him anywhere near anything remotely close to his heart. It was something he’d always kept heavily guarded, and then Rei came along and ruined all of that. Now it didn’t need guarded, it needed protected. His love for the writer needed protected at all costs. 

 

“Why don’t we go ahead and get a little more comfortable?” Nagisa suggested, taking Sousuke’s hand and cutting him off mid-sentence. He knew it was rude, and normally, he wouldn’t have dreamed of doing something like that, but like most things he had to do today, it was necessary. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could deal with listening to the investor’s voice, or handle having his eyes greedily on him at all times. It made him uncomfortable, it made him feel more like an object than he’d ever felt in his life. 

 

Especially when he thought of the looks Rei gave him. The looks that made Nagisa feel like he was worth something, that he was more than a courtesan - like he was an actual person. A person who deserved everything the world could offer them.

 

Finally, he’d convinced Sousuke to come with him, and Nagisa immediately opened up a bottle of wine. He tried not to make it look so obvious, but Sousuke had to know he wasn’t entirely comfortable. He poured them each a glass, and Nagisa was on his second by the time the other boy was halfway done with his first.

 

“Are you nervous?” 

 

The question caught him off guard, and he decided to roll with it. “Yes! Yes, I am, dreadfully nervous.” Nagisa replied shakily, sitting down on one of the small cushions he had scattered around the room. “I - I must apologize… I’ve been putting this off on the off chance… getting to know you a bit better might help calm me down a bit, but… It didn’t work. You’re just so… handsome, it’s hard not to be a little scared.” 

 

Sousuke chuckled, plopping down beside him and laying a hand on his thigh. “I could say the same thing about you, you know.” 

 

“I’m sure you could.” the smaller boy replied. 

 

It was now or never, and he knew it. If he didn’t get this started now, he never would. He leaned in, pulling Sosuke into a deep kiss, his hands getting started on unbuttoning his shirt, and his heart screaming at him to stop before it was too late. 

 

Sosuke seemed to get the hint, and decided to help the smaller boy out a bit. Nagisa pulled back and got to his feet, getting started on his trousers, and the other boy stood up too. He leaned in for another deep kiss, and Nagisa knew he had to really sell it. He pulled, tugged, and brushed up against the taller boy, using every trick he knew from his years as a courtesan to drive him crazy. 

 

That was when he heard it. 

 

That all too familiar voice, in pain, right outside the window. 

 

Sosuke heard it too. He pulled back, about to ask what it was, when Nagisa was halfway to the balcony. He looked down over the edge, his heart hammering against his ribs when he saw Rei down below. His breath caught in his throat, and he wanted to tell him to come save him from this mistake, to leave, that he loved him, everything at once, but he couldn’t make his voice work. Instead, he just continued to stare, wanting nothing more than to jump from here and fall into Rei’s arms.

 

“Come what may…” Nagisa whispered, tears rising in his eyes. “I will love you…” 

 

“Nagisa, what is it?” Sosuke was beside him then, startling him out of his thoughts, and the taller boy found the figure standing down below. He took note of the slight panic on the courtesan’s face, and something clicked. His confusion slipped away and was replaced with genuine fury. “Oh, I see.” He said, grabbing Nagisa’s hand. “However you might feel about your little writer, you promised me something, and I expect that promise to be kept.” He tossed Nagisa down onto his bed, straddling him and fumbling with the belt of his trousers. “You’re nothing but a little tramp!” He shouted. 

 

Nagisa knew he had to do something, and fast. His breath was shallow and fast, and his heart was pounding even faster. If he hesitated much longer it would be too late. Everything had gone to hell, and there was no coming back from it at this point. With all the strength he could muster, he kicked up, nailing Sosuke between the legs with his knee. He doubled over in pain, and Nagisa took the opportunity to move. He slipped his legs out from under him and began to run for the door. 

 

A hand grabbed his wrist, using enough force that he could feel his bones creaking just a little. Nagisa looked back in horror as Sosuke began to pull him back. Nagisa knew there wasn’t much he could do if the other boy got the upper hand. He wasn’t a weakling by any means, but Sousuke had to have about 40 pounds on him, and at least six inches of height. There wasn’t much he could do. “You made me believe that you loved me! You can forget your precious ending, you can forget the bum writer, you can forget all of it!  _ You will be mine _ !” he roared. 

 

Nagisa reached out, slapping the taller boy across the face, and used his momentary shock to break his hand free from Sousuke’s grip. “The only way I’ll be yours is in your dreams.” He replied, trying to catch his breath. Sosuke advanced on him again, but Nagisa ducked, barely avoiding being tackled to the ground. Sosuke chased him all around the room, fury in his eyes and Nagisa knew if he got to the balcony he’d be trapped. 

 

There wasn’t anything he could do except keep running. Maybe if he did end up trapped, he could use it to his advantage. The image of flipping the other man off the balcony crossed his mind, but he wasn’t sure he could actually do it. He had to do something, though, and fast. Sosuke was advancing on him. 

 

The door to the elephant opened, and a mop of dark red hair was standing there looking horrified. Nagisa had just gotten to the balcony, terrified out of his mind about what was about to happen. “Rin!” He yelled. 

 

Rin must have seen that something wasn’t right about this, because he charged over, decking Sosuke right in the jaw, and watched him fall before holding out his hand to Nagisa and leading him quickly away. 

 

Nagisa was hyperventilating with panic and the world was growing blacker around the edges as he descended the stairs. His entire body shook, and he wanted nothing than to be taken to Rei. Rei would fix it. Rei would make him feel better. He got to the second flight of stairs before the coughing fit overcame him, and he stopped, braced weakly against the wall. His legs finally gave out, and Nagisa hit the ground, hard. The last thing he saw before blacking out was Rin’s horrified face and his own hand stained with blood. 

 

~~~~

 

When Nagisa woke up, he was in his own bed in his dressing room, a candle lit beside him on the small table, and a small group of people surrounding him. He searched the faces for the one he wanted most desperately to see, and his heart sunk when he didn’t find him. “What’s going on? Where’s Rei?” he asked groggily. 

 

Rin was front and center of it all, looking at him worriedly. “We thought it would be better if Rei wasn’t here.” He said. “We need to talk.”

 

Nagisa sat up in bed, his head still a bit dizzy for whatever reason, and looked at him with concern. “What’s going on?” 

 

The door to his room opened again, and Gou stepped in, her face pale and devastation clear in her eyes.“You have to stop seeing him.” she said, her voice tight. “It’s too dangerous for both of you.”

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

She shared a look with Rin, and swallowed. “Well, Sosuke has pretty much vowed that the next time he sees Rei lurking around, he’s going to kill him. He came here, demanding to see you, but Gou wouldn’t him in. He promised all of us that Rei was as good as dead and that you  _ would _ be his. You...You have to break it off with him, Nagisa.”

 

Nagisa started at her for a moment, trying to figure out if he heard her right, and shook his head. “No!” he replied, tears in his eyes. “No, Rei… He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me! How can you ask me to do this? He  _ loves  _ me,Gou. He  _ loves  _ me! He treats me like I’m  _ worth  _ something. I can’t give that up.” Nagisa curled in on himself, sobs shaking every inch of his small frame, and whimpered to himself. “I can’t.” he repeated. 

 

“If you really love him, then you have to. Hurt him to save his life.” Gou said gently. “It’s the only way.” 

 

“I can’t!” Nagisa shouted, his voice cracking. 

 

“Then you’ve just signed his death sentence.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry it took me so long to get another chapter out. I ended up catching something nasty over the weekend, and I'm still not feeling great. But like a true writer, I decided to work on my story instead of actually taking the time to try getting better. 
> 
> I have good news! As it stands right now, I am FINISHED with the story. There's a lot of editing that still has to go into it, and I'm not sure how long It'll take me to get through it all, but it IS done! Thank you to everyone for being so patient! I hope the wait has been worth it.


	7. The Price of Love

“We’ll run.” Nagisa replied after calming himself down a little. Gou and Rin were still in his room, although the others had dispersed. “Someone else can fill in for me. Isn’t Momo my understudy? Let him do it.” Nagisa got to his feet, grabbed his small suitcase, and started putting clothes into it. “We’ll leave tonight.” He looked around for anything else he might need, his mind going a hundred miles a minute with possibilities about how this would go. 

 

“Nagisa--” Rin started.

 

“I need to do this.” He interrupted, his emotions beginning to boil over again. “Rei’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me! I can’t let him go like this, I  _ can’t _ ! Why can’t you understand that?! _ ”  _ His throat began to close off, and the smaller boy began coughing again, leaning against his dresser and trying to remain upright. 

 

“N-Nagisa,” Gou started, leading the smaller by back to his bed. “You can’t. Where can you even go?” 

 

“I don’t know,” he wheezed. “I don’t know, but - but we have to try s-something.” 

 

“You can’t.” Gou shut her eyes, straightening up and going to stand beside her brother. “You’re dying, Nagisa.” 

 

Nagisa froze, trying in vain to stop his coughing, and stared down the two siblings. “You’re lying.” He replied, his breathing heavy, and tried to hide the blood in his palm. “You’re just saying that.” 

 

“I’m not.” She whispered, a quiver in her voice. “There was a doctor here before you woke up, Rin told him what happened. You have consumption.” 

 

“No.” The courtesan replied firmly. “I’m not dying, and I’m not staying here any longer.” 

 

Rin stepped forward, laying a hand on his friend’s shoulder, and swallowed. “He’ll kill him if you try it. Do you want Rei to die, too?” 

 

Nagisa swallowed, shrugging off Rin’s hand, and went back to his bed. He sat down, his knees pulled up to his chest and tears rolling hot and heavy down his cheeks. Of course he didn’t want Rei to be killed, but he couldn’t just  _ leave  _ him, either. The taller boy’s face flashed through his mind, and Nagisa broke down. Rei… the only bit of sunlight in his life. 

 

The thought of losing him made his stomach lurch, but he couldn’t lose him because of his own selfishness. He couldn’t. Nagisa took a deep breath, his eyes shut, and tilted his chin up. “How would you suppose I did this?” 

 

“Do whatever you have to.” Gou said, wiping her eyes. “If… If it’s at all possible… Maybe afterwards, we can… do something, I don’t know…” 

 

Nagisa shook his head, gripping the sheets in his hands, and took a shaky breath. “No. No, the only way that he’ll leave is if I break him completely. There’ll be no after.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Nagisa. I’m so sorry.” Gou said, turning away from the boys and leaving the room. 

 

Rin stood in silence with the smaller boy for a moment, unsure of what to say, and cleared his throat. “I, uh, I suppose I should talk to Makoto about rewriting the ending…” 

 

“You do that.” Nagisa replied, his voice just audible. He held it together until the door shut behind Rin, and he broke down again. Everything, his future, his life, his love… all of it was going up in smoke before his eyes. Rei would fight. He would fight him until his last breath to stay involved in his life, and Nagisa wasn’t sure he had the strength to do this. He knew, if Gou was telling the truth, it would be better to end things now before Rei ended up losing him anyways after everything, but god, he wanted to do nothing but spend the remainder of his life in Rei’s arms, far away from this place. 

 

The only silver lining that he could see was that, if it had to be this way, at least Sosuke wouldn’t get the satisfaction of having him for very long either. 

 

~~~~~~

 

Rei was insanely grateful for Rin’s good timing. He’d come looking for the writer after seeing him slip away from the crowd, and got there just in time for Rei to explain something wasn’t right. They heard Sosuke shouting, and Rin was off, taking the steps to the elephant two at a time. 

  
  


Rei wished that it could be him that saved Nagisa, but he knew he’d already done enough; The smaller boy might have gotten hurt worse if he rushed up there. 

 

After a long, agonizing minute, he saw the shadow of someone coming down the stairs, and rushed over, panic seizing his heart when he saw Rin was carrying an unconscious Nagisa in his arms. 

 

“Is he okay?” He asked, putting his hand gently on the smaller boy’s face. 

 

“I don’t know, he needs a doctor.” 

 

“What happened?” 

 

“I don’t know, he started coughing, and then he passed out.” Rin replied, shifting a little under Nagisa’s weight. “But right now, he needs you to call a doctor.” 

 

“I don’t want to leave him.” 

 

“Well,  _ he’s  _ gonna leave  _ you _ permanently if we don’t figure out what’s wrong!” 

 

Rei knew Rin had a point, but his words still stung a bit. “I’ll be back in a minute, Nagisa.” He promised, taking off at a sprint for help. 

 

He’d shown up at the Moulin Rouge a little later and wanting to see Nagisa. Gou explained that the courtesan was resting at the moment, and for him to try back later. Rei insisted that he needed to see him, and Gou threatened to have him removed if he didn’t leave.

 

Rei, dejectedly, went back across the street to wait for news. 

  
  
  


That had been hours ago. His anxiety was getting worse, and his mind was going a mile a minute coming up with reasons why they wouldn’t let him see Nagisa. Was he still asleep? Did something worse happen when they got him back inside? What had Sousuke done to him? Rei scrubbed at his face, his glasses sliding off and landing with a small thud on the table, and sighed.

 

He couldn’t stand waiting anymore. 

 

He got to his feet, pushed the red frames back into place on his nose, and went back. He slipped inside, on the lookout for anybody that would stop him, and froze when he saw Momo. 

 

“Rei, you can’t go back there. If Gou or someone else catches you in here, you’ll be thrown out.” 

 

“Then let me be!” Rei hissed, grabbing Momo by the shirt. “I’ve been turned away once, but I’m not leaving here until I see him. I’m not leaving without talking to Nagisa.” 

 

“I can’t let you.”

 

“Then you’ll have to catch me.” Rei pushed at Momo with all of his strength, giving himself a bit of a head start as he sprinted through the building, skidding to a halt outside Nagisa’s door. He opened it without knocking, and exhaled heavily when he saw the smaller boy sitting on his bed, backed up against the wall, looking off into the distance. “Nagisa.” Rei breathed. 

 

Nagisa turned his head robotically, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and for the briefest hint of a second, they seemed to light up upon seeing him. “Rei,” he croaked, not getting up. 

 

“Hey,” Rei replied breathlessly, hurrying over to his side and taking his hands. “What happened, are you alright?” He leaned in, brushing a gentle kiss to Nagisa’s lips, and sat down on his bed beside him. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” 

 

“No, he didn’t.” Nagisa replied, having to fight not to lean into Rei’s touch. He wanted nothing more than to be comforted, to be held and kissed and promised that everything would be okay, but he knew he couldn’t be. Not by Rei. Not anymore. Taking a breath, Nagisa pulled away from him, and looked his lover in the eyes. “I can’t keep seeing you.” 

 

“W-What?” 

 

“I can’t keep seeing you.” Nagisa repeated. “I’ve let this go on for too long, and I can’t keep entertaining these fantasies of yours.” 

 

That couldn’t be right. “I thought you loved me?” 

 

Nagisa shook his head, his hands balled into fists on his lap. “I don’t love you. I never have loved you.” 

 

“Nagisa…” Rei replied softly, his eyes full of betrayal. How could Nagisa say that? 

 

The smaller boy shut his eyes, his face turned away from Rei to hide the tears wanting to fall. “Besides that,” He started, his voice thin, “Sosuke has promised me a future. He can give me what I want.” 

 

“And I can’t give that to you?” 

 

“No, Rei, you can’t.” Nagisa got to his feet, unable to look at him any longer, and prayed he could keep his tears in check until after Rei was gone. He kept his back to the other boy, his hands shaking at his sides, and felt like he was going to vomit. “What can you offer me, realistically? You moved here with the clothes on your back, and that’s it. You’re not working, you can’t finance my dreams. Why would I pick the penniless writer when I could have the investor?” 

 

“Nagisa, I--” 

 

“We needed you, Rei. We all did. I used you to keep you here, and I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have let this go on as long as it did, but...I was afraid you’d leave before the play was finished.” 

 

It felt like all of the air had been forced out of his lungs. His entire body shook with this revolation, and while he’d resigned part of himself to expecting this, it still was about enough to knock him off his feet. “Why did you do this? Why did you--” 

 

“Enough, Rei. I’ve said my piece, now it’s time for you to go.” 

 

Rei couldn’t breathe. Some foolish part of him still didn’t believe it. There was no way Nagisa would have done this if he didn’t feel something for him in return. He had to feel  _ something  _ for him. He stared at Nagisa’s back, his heart hammering against his ribs, and and swallowed. “Come what may…” He began, hoping that maybe their song would get him to think for a second. “I will love you, until my dying day…” 

 

“You need to leave.” Nagisa said, finally turning to him. “I don’t want you coming back here again.” Rei opened his mouth to speak, taking a step towards him, but Nagisa shoved him towards the door. “Get  _ out _ !  _ Now! _ ” 

 

Wordlessly, Rei left the room, and Nagisa counted to ten before he sank to the floor, his mouth open in a silent scream over what he just did. Nothing would ever wipe the look on Rei’s face from his mind, he could never forget watching the hope drain from his eyes right in front of him. “ _ God. Damn. It _ !” He sobbed, pounding his fist on the floor. 

 

He could feel his chest tightening up and he began coughing again, hunched on the floor as he cried. Nagisa gagged and sputtered, trying to get his breath and keep himself upright, and closed his fist in one final smack on the ground. Everything good he had in his life was now gone, and it was all his own fault. 

 

Compared to losing Rei, dying didn’t seem so bad. 

 

~~~~

 

Rei didn’t remember making it back to his apartment, but when he came to, he was in his desk chair, staring at his typewriter, and hating himself for ever getting involved with this place. He hated that he’d fallen so easily for a man who didn’t love him back, and that he’d allowed himself to be used so easily by everyone he thought cared about him.  

He didn't look up from the machine in front of him, forcing himself not to look out the window. His fingers hovered over the keys, wanting to pen something down but not knowing what he wanted to say. He couldn't talk about Nagisa, not right now, possibly not ever. He didn't want to start the story he’d originally come here to write, either. Rei wanted nothing more to do with this place. 

 

Instead of working on anything, he continued to stare blankly until his eyes unfocused and his head started to hurt. 

 

~~~ 

 

Rin opened the door, trying to be as quiet as possible as he spoke in case Rei might be downstairs. “We have to redo the ending.” He murmured, rubbing a hand across his face. “Sousuke isn’t going to let it slide.” 

 

“What happened?” Makoto asked, unwrapping himself from around Haru and getting to his feet. He was already halfway to his typewriter before Rin spoke, already turning out theories about what was going on.

 

Rin plopped down next to Nitori on the floor and explained everything from the moment he found Rei outside, watching the whole spectacle going on inside the elephant. 

 

Everyone was silent. Makoto’s eyes landed on Haru’s face, and his heart broke for his friends. Nagisa was one of the most genuinely happy people he’d ever met in his life, and one of the main reasons he himself remained so positive. Nagisa was one of the reasons he’d not given up on Haru before they ended up together, actually. The world wouldn’t be the same without his smile and his light in it, and he didn’t want to think about the day when it finally went out. 

 

His eyes found Haru’s across the room, and he exhaled. He could only imagine what he would do if he were in Rei’s position; knowing that no matter what, or how hard he fought, it would always end with him losing the love of his life. That no matter what, every outcome would end with him alone. Makoto knew that when the time came, Rei would be emotionally destroyed. 

 

Haru’s mind was in a similar place. He couldn’t believe, after everything, that they were giving up so easily. There still had to be an outcome where they ended up together, he knew there had to be, and he was determined to find it. 

 

Haru couldn’t believe neither Rei nor Nagisa had stopped to think it completely through, and that they’d just accepted the fact that they couldn’t see each other anymore. He never thought they would be the kind to just going to let their love die so easily. It infuriated him, actually. 

 

He glanced across at Makoto, thinking to himself that maybe there was still a chance. Maybe if someone talked to Rei, he’d go back and try again. Maybe there was still a chance to save them, even for a short while… 

 

Wordlessly, knowing what he had to do, Haru got to his feet and crossed the room to the door. He spared one more look at the others; Makoto was back to his typewriter, already clacking away, Nitori was leaning heavily against Rin, still trying to process the news, and Rin was focused on the window. Nobody would notice if he just slipped away for a minute… 

 

Haru shook his head, closing the door behind him and tromping down the stairs. He knocked at Rei’s door, pausing for a moment to see if he was coming, and knocked again. Still nothing. Annoyed, Haru turned the knob and poked his head inside, finding his friend curled up in his bed, pages of the old script scattered around him, and a half-empty bottle of gin beside him on his table. With a sigh, Haru stepped farther into the room and stared. “You look pathetic.” He told Rei bluntly. 

 

“Am I supposed to look differently?” Rei retorted, his voice hollow. 

 

Haru folded his arms and took a seat in his friend’s desk chair, taking a moment to gather his words before speaking. “Rin told us what happened.” 

 

“I’m trying not to think about what happened.” 

 

“You’re doing a wonderful job at that.” 

 

Rei didn’t reply, just turned his head to the window. “I don’t understand why he did it.” He said after a minute. 

 

Haru looked up at him, wondering what he could mean by that. “Didn’t Nagisa explain?” 

 

“He just said he used me.”

 

So he didn’t tell him, then. Haru sighed, running a hand back through his hair, and decided being honest was better than being gentle. “Did it ever occur to you that he might be lying?” 

 

“He wouldn’t lie to me.” 

 

“Even to save you?” 

 

“What are you implying?” Rei asked. 

 

Haru shrugged. “Just based off what Rin told us? A lot.” 

 

Rei shook his head, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a long swig. “He asked me why he’d want the penniless writer when he could have the rich investor. He told me I couldn’t support his dreams.” 

 

“Do you honestly think Nagisa cares about that?” 

 

It was Rei’s turn to shrug. “It makes sense though, doesn’t it? Why would anybody pick the penniless writer in the end?” 

 

“Because you’re not a creep? Because you actually love him?” 

 

“Love isn’t enough.” 

 

Haru was getting angry now. He knew Rei was thick-headed, but this was taking it to a new level. Part of him wanted to get up and slap him, another wanted to scream, but he did nothing. Exploding at Rei wouldn’t do anything except make it all worse, and possibly ruin their friendship. “You’re worth more than a hundred of Sosuke. You brought something into Nagisa’s life that he’s never had before - love. Genuine love. Someone who genuinely wanted to be with him for who he is, and not what he’s known for _.  _ No matter what happens, just remember that. You changed him, Rei. You brought a happiness to his eyes that none of us have ever seen before. It’s obvious to anybody watching you two that you’re crazy for him. But what you never saw was the way  _ he _ looked at  _ you. _ It was mutual.” 

 

The other boy was quiet for a few moments, and Haru knew he’d gotten him to stop and think. That was a very good sign. He waited patiently to see what Rei was going to do, and finally, his friend shook his head. “Regardless, it’s too late to do anything about it.” 

 

He knew Rei wouldn’t listen to him right now, but that needed to be said. Haru got to his feet, headed for the door, and spared him one more look. “It’s never too late, Rei. There’s still a chance to make things right again. Don’t give up on him, or yourself. There’s still hope for you two.” With that said, he took his leave, and headed back upstairs to the others. 

 

Rei lay across his bed, letting his eyes close as the alcohol started to take effect, and tried to block out what all Haru had said. It couldn’t be true, could it? Obviously, he hadn’t had that much of an effect on Nagisa if he was cast aside so easily, so why would his friend lie like that? To make him feel better? 

 

The lights across the street lit up, illuminating his apartment in the dimming sunlight, and Rei stumbled out of bed to close his curtains. His eyes fell on the elephant, and he could just make out a small silhouette changing in the window. Rei stood there for a moment, watching him, and could almost see the other boy right in front of him, the soft skin on his back, the muscles in his shoulders, those auburn eyes filled with promises of love… 

 

Rei shut his eyes and pushed his curtains together, trying to knock the memories from his mind. It was an illusion. All of it was an illusion to keep him writing the script. Nothing more than that. He could feel his glasses slipping down his nose, and pushed them back into place, another memory of the first time Nagisa did it flashing through his mind. 

 

His stomach lurched, and he took a deep breath in an attempt not to throw up, and sat back down on his bed. How could he have fallen for the lies so easily? How could he have allowed himself to be drawn in without a second thought? Why did he allow himself to lose his heart to a man who never loved him? 

 

When he felt like he could stand again, Rei reached into the pocket of a pair of discarded pants on the floor, and pulled out the last bits of money he had saved back, and shoved them into the ones he was wearing. He slipped his shoes on, and took a few stumbling steps to the door. There was still one more thing he needed to do before he could fully move on. 

 

~~~

 

He had no idea how he managed to get across the street, but he did. Rei stumbled through the doors of the Moulin Rouge, calling for Nagisa at the top of his lungs.

 

Several of the dancers stared at him, irritation on their faces, and started trying to block his path. “You need to leave.” One of them said. Rei paid them no mind; he was here on a mission. He needed to see Nagisa one last time. 

 

He pushed his way through the crowd, still yelling drunkenly for the smaller boy, and finally spotted him at the back of the room. He pushed even harder, finally cutting through the last of them, and stood, staring up at his lover, breathing heavily. 

 

Nagisa hurried down to him, his eyes wide with surprise, and grabbed Rei’s hand. He dragged him out of the center of the floor and off to the side. “What are you doing here?” He asked, trying to meet the taller boy’s gaze. “Have you been drinking?” 

 

Rei took a breath and met Nagisa’s eyes. He reached into his pocket, extracting a fist full of money, and thrust it at him. “I came back to pay my whore!” He said, his voice higher than it needed to be. 

 

Nagisa flinched as though Rei’d just slapped him. “Rei, I--” 

 

“You don’t love me! You said so yourself!” Rei said to him. “So let me pay you for all of your services!” Nagisa’s hands fell from his own, and Rei could see tears in his eyes; he’d never seen the other boy look so sad. He supposed if he were sober, he might feel bad about it. “If you never loved me, let me pay you.”

 

Nagisa swallowed, tears spilling down his cheeks, and shoved Rei hard enough to make him stumble. Nagisa took a step back, looking at him with the deepest hurt in his eyes, and turned to walk away. 

 

“You’re an incredible actor, Nagisa!” Rei shouted. “I actually believed you. You fooled me into thinking you cared! You’ll be a star someday!” 

 

Nagisa kept on, not turning to look at him. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, that Rei had done this. He’d resigned himself to never seeing him again, and yet here he was, still putting a wrench in all of his plans. He should have expected him to be angry, but actually seeing it in front of him hurt worse than any preparation he could have given himself. Nagisa wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, trying to keep himself together until he was alone. 

 

~~~~

 

Rei was escorted out of the Moulin Rouge by Momo and another dancer who Rei didn’t know the name of, and tossed out onto the street. “Make sure he gets his money!” Rei shouted after them, dusting off his pants as he stood up, and took one more look at the building before heading back to his home. 

 

He stumbled through his door and sat down on his bed, his head in his hands, and took an unsteady breath. That was it, the last time he’d ever see Nagisa. He’d paid his debt, and now he was completely free of the other boy. 

 

So why did it not feel liberating?

 

Why did it feel like he’d lost part of himself along with Nagisa? 

 

Rei pulled himself up onto his mattress, and curled into a ball around the smaller boy’s pillow. It still smelled a little like him, and Rei clung to it in hopes his scent would stay on it for the rest of forever. He knew it was silly, but he couldn’t help but wish. 

 

He closed his eyes, and didn’t stir again until the following morning. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end! I can promise it only goes downhill from here, so strap your asses in and prepare for pain!


	8. The Show Must Go On.

 

Show day. 

 

Nagisa stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes red and puffy from being up half the night crying, and began getting himself ready. He splashed his face with cool water, grabbed his trousers, and began to get dressed. Rei should have been here with him, encouraging him and stealing a kiss or two before he had to go find the rest of the cast. Nagisa should have been laughing with him, unable to keep his hands off the taller boy, and Rei would give him that smile that made his heart melt every time he saw it. 

 

There was a lot that should have been different about this day. 

 

Makoto had brought over the finalized version of the script very early in the morning, and it lay unread on the table beside Nagisa’s bed. He couldn’t bring himself to read over those words, the words that Rei had spent so long trying to perfect, only for them to be butchered at the last minute. According to Makoto, they’d taken out the song Rei had written for him in favor of something Sousuke had suggested - the song Nagisa had sang the first time he’d seen him perform. 

 

Nagisa closed his eyes and began to cough. It had been getting worse, more painful with every fit, and he’d begun to worry it would leave him unable to do the play after all. After he was able to breathe again, Nagisa finished getting dressed, grabbed the butchered script, and went to find the others. 

 

No matter how bad he felt, no matter how much he wanted to just go find Rei and call this whole thing quits right now, the show had to go on. 

 

********** 

 

Haru had stayed up with Makoto while he finished the script. Makoto wasn’t used to pulling all nighters like he was, and kept falling asleep mid-sentence. Eventually, Haru let him pass out and grabbed the typewriter, reading over what his lover had written, set to work. Haru carefully picked the machine up off the table and set it up in the corner of the room where it had less of a chance of waking the taller boy. Haru decided, if he was going to be kept awake anyways, he might as well be productive. 

 

He thought he’d done a good enough job of mimicking Makoto’s writing style. They’d spent enough of their lives together that he knew Makoto better than Makoto knew himself, and it was times like this that he was grateful for it. 

 

When he finally finished up, he brought the typewriter back and carefully set it on the table again. Haru gently shook Makoto’s shoulder, and guided the taller boy to their bed, tucking him in and sitting beside him. He’d been up so late now, he didn’t think sleep would really be an option at this point. 

 

Instead, he thought. He thought about what Rin had told them about what happened to Nagisa, the state he’d found Rei in the day before, and how stupid he thought the whole thing was. He knew he was right in what he’d told the writer; Nagisa _ did  _ love him, and nothing would change that. Haru had assumed that Nagisa had explained everything to Rei, but based off of how Rei was reacting, it didn’t appear so. He wondered how much he really knew. 

 

Maybe, just maybe, if he could explain to his friend what really happened, it would snap him out of his depression enough that he could save Nagisa from Sousuke without him being killed in the process. Maybe they might be able to live out the rest of Nagisa’s life in peace. 

 

It had to be worth a shot, didn’t it? 

 

~~~

 

When dawn began to break and bathed the floor with the pink of morning, Makoto stirred. He sat up, eyes wide, and shot out of bed while cursing to himself. He grabbed his glasses and began to type at on his keys, muttering that he needed to finish his script. 

 

“I already did.” Haru murmured, crawling out of bed and wrapping his arms around Makoto’s shoulders. “Relax a bit.” 

 

“You… did?” Makoto asked, looking up at the blue-eyed boy with a relieved look on his face. 

 

Haru leaned down, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and smiled. “You needed your sleep, and I knew you’d panic if it wasn’t done, so I took the liberty of finishing it for you.” 

 

The taller boy visibly relaxed, and leaned heavily onto Haru. “God, I love you.” He muttered. “When did you finally get to sleep?” 

 

Haru hesitated. “I didn’t.” 

 

“Haru,” Makoto said, a sigh in his voice. “You need sleep. How are you going to function tonight if you don’t get rest?” 

 

Haru glanced at their bed. “Why don’t you guys go ahead and go over. I’ll stay here and sleep for awhile. Come get me in a few hours, and I’ll catch up.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

Haru nodded, leaning down for a quick kiss from the other boy, and went back to their bed. He pulled the blankets up over his head, and settled in. He was asleep in seconds. 

 

Makoto smiled to himself, his heart light, and felt himself falling just a little deeper in love with Haru. He got himself dressed, grabbed up the last bits of script, put it with the other pages, and decided to run it over to everyone. Might as well get their long day started if he was already awake. 

 

~~~

 

Haru wasn’t able to sleep long. Only about an hour after everyone had left, he was back awake and staring at the wall by his bed. He lay there for a little while, contemplating what he should do, before finally getting frustrated enough with his lack of doing  _ anything  _ except arguing with himself. He slipped one of Makoto’s shirts on over his trousers, fixed his hair, and decided to get it over with. 

 

He really didn’t think Rei would listen, but he had to try one more time. 

 

~~~

 

Haru knocked on Rei’s door loudly, not caring how early it was or if he was asleep still or not. “Rei!” He called. “It’s me, open up.” 

 

Haru could hear shuffling from behind the door, an exhausted groan, and after a moment Rei appeared, his glasses askew on his face and still looking half asleep. “Do you know what time it is?” 

 

“We need to talk.” 

 

“We already did.” 

 

“Well, we’re talking again. Move.” Haru pushed passed his friend, settling in the same chair as before and watching as Rei sat down on his bed. “You need to come tonight.” He said simply.

 

Rei’s shoulders slumped and he shot Haru a pained look. “I’m not going.” 

 

“Rei, listen to me.” Haru started, fixing his gaze on his friend. 

 

“He doesn’t want me there, Haruka.” Rei interrupted. 

 

“Nagisa loves you. He’s loved you since the day you met. You have to trust that.” Haru continued, not paying him in any mind. 

 

“He doesn’t, he told me.” 

 

“Do you know _ why _ he told you that?” He asked, his blue eyes cold as ice. “To keep you safe. Sousuke wants you  _ dead _ , Rei, and Nagisa did the only thing he could think of to protect you. That is the  _ only  _ reason he broke it off.” 

 

“Then why wouldn’t he just tell me that?” 

 

“Rei, come on!” Haru shouted. “Have you met yourself? We both know you wouldn’t have let that stop you from seeing him, or being with him. And then what would have happened? If you were caught, you’d be dead. He panicked, and in the heat of the moment, he made a decision. Should he have told you the truth? Yes. But he didn’t. He lied so you would be safe.” 

 

“Regardless, it’s too late to do anything.” 

 

“Is it? Because the last time I checked, there was still some time left before we open.”

 

Rei thought about it for a moment. “Suppose you’re right. Suppose Nagisa  _ did  _ lie to save me. Sousuke will be there tonight. He’s going to be keeping an eye on him. How do you suggest I get in without being noticed?” 

 

“Let me talk to Makoto and the others. We’ll figure something out. But whatever happens tonight, Nagisa will  _ not _ be leaving that building with Sousuke.” 

 

~~~~

Haru stayed for a little while longer, not wanting to leave until he was sure Rei was going to try again. He was grateful when, after twenty minutes of the other boy arguing with himself, that he finally stood up and said he’d do it. Haru sighed in relief; knew if he stayed awake much longer, there’d be no chance of him getting a bit of a nap in before the show opened, and if they were going to save Nagisa, he needed all the rest he could get. 

 

Haru took to the stairs heavily, his legs not wanting to go much longer, and planted face first into his bed. He curled around Makoto’s pillow and was asleep in minutes. 

 

~~~

Nagisa sat at the side of the stage, watching the other actors running around while they got props and things ready for the next scene. He had a script in his hands, and he was supposed to memorize everything by the time the play opened that night. 

 

He’d glanced at it, and while he knew the ending had been changed and his character was now choosing the rich ex over the actor, it still made him sick to actually see it in print. Nobody in their right mind would pick a Sousuke over a Rei if they had the freedom to choose. 

 

Nagisa glanced up, and found Sousuke’s eyes fixed on him from the front row. Nagisa stared right back, his face uncharacteristically cold. He felt like a bird who had gotten a small taste of freedom, of a life outside of its cage, only to be captured again and shoved into an even smaller cage. 

 

Finally he turned away, unable to stomach looking at him anymore, and turned back to the stage. Nagisa wished Rei was here, hidden around the back of the sets, just watching them all perform from his own little area. He longed to walk around and find him sitting there, waiting for him to come stay with him for awhile. 

 

He missed their talks, he missed the quiet moments where they would lay together and Rei would look at him with eyes so full of the purest form of love that it made every nerve ending in his body tingle with happiness. He missed Rei’s affection. He missed holding the taller boy’s heart in his hands and having it all to himself. 

 

He missed everything about Rei. 

 

Nagisa heard the gentle  _ plip  _ of water hitting the paper, and looked down to see teardrops on the page. With a discreet swipe of his hand, he wiped them away, his mind pulling up a memory of when Rei would do this for him and hold him until he felt like he wouldn’t break anymore. 

 

_ Stop.  _ Nagisa thought to himself.  _ Rei isn’t coming back. I made my choice, and I did it for him.  _ He swallowed, taking a breath, and got to his feet. He went to stand by Makoto, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts any longer. 

 

“How are you?” The taller boy asked quietly, not wanting to attract Sousuke’s attention. 

 

“I want to call this whole thing off and go find him.” Nagisa answered, wrapping his arms around his middle. “I hate this.” 

 

“If I knew a way for you to do it, I’d be first in line to help.” He said, shooting Nagisa a sad smile. “You deserve better than what you’re doing.” 

 

Nagisa opened his mouth to reply, but instead heard a small whimper escape his throat. “Regardless of what I deserve, it’s not what I’m getting, and I’d rather Rei not see what is waiting for me.”  

 

Makoto didn’t reply, instead went back to directing everyone else, and Nagisa seized the moment to slip around to the back.

 

He could almost see Rei sitting there, pages scattered in front of him, a pen in his hand and his glasses slipping from his face, muttering to himself about what to do next. The morning sun cast a light shining down on the spot where his lover always sat, normally it catching in his dark hair and eyes, making all of the colors in them stand straight out. It was always a beautiful sight to walk into. 

 

Nagisa took a couple steps forward and dropped down into the spot where he usually sat beside Rei, laying his head on the cool floor and stretching his hand out to the ghost of his lover. So many times they’d done this, sat here in near silence while Rei worked. Nagisa had loved every second of it. The lines in his face, the set in his eyes, every move he made, every stroke of the pen… Watching Rei was fascinating to him, and he adored the times he got to do this. 

 

“I love you,” Nagisa whispered, knowing that Rei couldn’t hear him now. His fingers brushed the floor and he shut his eyes, letting the tears start falling again now that nobody could see him. They kept coming until he was curled in a ball, his hand over his mouth as he tried to muffle the sounds escaping his throat. 

 

None of this was fair. He’d found love, finally, after keeping the idea of it at arm’s length for years, and it had been ripped so cruelly away from him by his own doing. He was finally getting to see his dreams come true, and he would be dead before he could enjoy it. He would be spending the last - what could have been days - of his life with a man who had tried to hurt him and made him feel sick to his stomach. He would spend his remaining time praying for death to be quick, instead of spending it in the arms of the man who made his life worth living. 

 

How had things gone so wrong for him? How had he allowed all of this to happen? 

 

His crying got worse, and it eventually led him to another coughing fit. His chest hurt, his throat hurt, and his breath was even harder to catch this time than any of the others combined. He lay there, wheezing, feeling like his throat was closing off, and shut his eyes to keep the world from spinning around him. Nagisa turned over onto his back, gasping for air and wishing Rei was there with him to hold him and promise things would be okay. 

 

Finally, he was able to breathe again and he sat up, taking every movement slow so he didn’t risk falling and drawing attention to himself. He got to his feet, taking careful steps, and spared one last look at the spot where Rei would never sit again. 

 

Nagisa chewed at his lip, and said his goodbyes to the memories. 

 

~~~~

 

Rei kept his eyes on the windmill spinning in its same slow circles, his door still open from when Haru left earlier. He hadn’t left his bed since their confrontation, too stunned to really do much of anything. There might have still been a chance to save himself and Nagisa, but that chance was small. He couldn’t forget the words Nagisa had said to him prior. Those words that tore his insides apart and made him feel like a fool. 

 

Rei shut his eyes, letting out a small sigh and not knowing what to believe anymore. He’d resigned himself to believe that Nagisa hated him, that he was just being used as a pawn in a bigger game, and he’d begun to make peace with it. Now, there was a tiny flicker of hope that it wasn’t true. 

 

His heart latched onto that hope as soon as Haru had spoken the words, but his head worried what would happen when it came out that it wasn’t true. 

 

He guessed there was only one way to find out. He had to talk to him. Tonight. 

 

****

 

Rei counted down the minutes, waiting for any sign that it was time to go. His anxiety had been creeping up on him steadily since he’d made his decision, and he’d almost been talked out of going several times, but he needed to know. Once and for all, he needed to know how Nagisa really felt. If he hated him and never wanted to see him again, fine, he’d deal with it. But if not, if he  _ really _ loved him and wanted him, then they’d figure it out. Sousuke be damned, they’d figure it out. 

 

Rei swallowed, hoping against hope that Haru had been telling him the truth. 

 

~~~~

 

Makoto came back in the late afternoon, after trusting Nitori and Rin to look after Nagisa for a few minutes. He didn’t trust his friend alone, after noting how bad he looked when he reappeared from wherever he’d disappeared to. Makoto didn’t want to leave, but he’d promised Haru he’d come back for him before the play started, and he wanted to make sure his lover had time to get ready.

 

His eye caught something strange while he was climbing the stairs and he stopped. Rei never kept his door open like that. He knew the writer liked his privacy, so to see it open raised a bit of a red flag. Quietly turning around and heading back down, Makoto knocked at the open door, sticking his head inside and finding Rei staring across the street. 

 

“Rei,” he started, startling his friend and getting him to turn around. “Why don’t you come along tonight?” He suggested. “You put as much work into this as the rest of us have, it would be wrong not to have you there to see it.” 

 

Rei didn’t know what to say to that. He’d made up his mind to go, and in his heart, he knew he would, but he couldn’t stop himself before he said, “I don’t know if I can.” 

 

“It’s up to you,” Makoto replied, shooting him a sympathetic look. “If you decide to go, come find me backstage. You can watch from there if you want.” With that, he turned around and left, taking care to shut Rei’s door behind him as he went. 

 

When he got upstairs, Haru was still asleep in their bed, barely visible under the mountain of blankets on top of him. Makoto smiled, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. “It’s time to wake up.” He told him, pulling away. 

 

After a moment and a gentle shake later, Haru stirred, blinking himself awake while Makoto came into focus. He wordlessly sat up, still half asleep, and shot him a sleepy smile. “I don’t suppose you’d let me sleep for another hour or two, would you?” He asked, his voice quiet. 

 

Makoto chuckled, holding his hand out for Haru. “Afraid not. You still have lines to run and costumes to get into.” 

 

Haru leaned heavily on his taller boyfriend as they walked to the door, and sighed. “I already know all my lines. I’ve spent enough time on this play that I know  _ everyone’s  _ lines by this point. I think I’ll be fine.” 

 

“You say that, but then you’ll go out there, and have to improvise. Trust me, if I thought you could get away with it, you’d be sleeping still.” 

 

Haru groaned, curling in closer to Makoto and his warmth, and wrapped his arm around the other boy’s waist. “I talked to Rei this morning.” 

 

“You did?” 

 

“I did. I think he might have gotten it through his head to talk to Nagisa.” 

 

“Haru--” Makoto started. 

 

“I know.” Haru said. “I know it’s dangerous, but if Rin is telling the truth and something  _ is  _ wrong with Nagisa, doesn’t he deserve to go out knowing that someone loves him more than anything else? Hasn’t he been through enough to earn that little bit of extra time with Rei?” 

 

“He has, but aren’t you worried about what will happen to  _ Rei  _ if he’s caught, or when everything is said and done?” 

 

“Of course I am. But I’m sure Rei would rather have that than  _ this _ . Even if it isn’t for long. When it happens, he’ll have us. We’ll help him move on. But, dammit, Makoto, if it were us, wouldn’t you rather have me for those last few days than let me die alone?” 

 

Makoto stopped, pulling away and looking at Haru with a grimace. “Haru, it’s different.” 

 

“How? How is it different?” 

 

“Because you’re not dying.” 

 

“But if I  _ were _ .” 

 

Makoto thought about it for a moment, and even though he knew that it would kill Rei in the end, he also knew Haru had him cornered. “Yes,” he conceded. “Yes, I would.” 

 

“Then there you go. Rei and Nagisa deserve this.” 

 

“I know they do.” 

 

“Are you going to help me help them?” 

 

As an answer, Makoto nodded. 

 

Haru smiled, grateful that Makoto was on his side, and pulled him close again. “I wasn’t done with you.” he said, grinning. “You’re warm, and I need body heat.”

 

~~~~

 

The sun had begun to fade quickly from the sky, and Rei knew it was getting close to showtime. He’d dressed in his best outfit - complete with the borrowed top hat he’d been lent by Haru on his first trip to the Moulin Rouge - and was just counting down the minutes now. He supposed he should go ahead and go, before he lost his nerve. All he had to do was slip inside and find Nagisa. Maybe it would go better than he’d built up in his mind. Maybe Nagisa would actually listen to him. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Rei took one last look in the mirror, smoothed down his dark hair, and licked his lips. This was his last chance to make things right.  

 

He gathered up his coat and took to the stairs, every step making him more and more anxious for what was ahead of him. He’d rehearsed what he planned on saying over and over in his head, trying to find the right words that would make Nagisa stop for a moment and think, but he had no idea if it would do anything in the end. After their last encounter, Rei wasn’t sure if he’d ever give him a moment ever again. 

 

Rei felt like he was going to puke. 

 

He hurried across the street, slipped inside the door while someone was getting their ticket checked, and kept his head down. Much to his dismay and relief, the play had already started. Rei glanced up, feeling an icy shock through his body as his eyes fell on the stage. Nagisa was up there, reciting the words he’d written months ago, flawlessly. Exactly like Rei knew he would. He dropped into a seat for a moment, unable to take his eyes off of him. The smaller boy really was born for this, and he knew it would be selfish to ask him to give it up for him. 

  
  


Rei swallowed, knowing he shouldn’t follow through with what he planned on saying to the other boy, but knowing he needed to. He didn’t expect Nagisa to change his mind, anyways. But still… 

 

He sat through the remaining first half, arguing with himself on what to do, and finally decided to go through with it. When the crowds started to move for the intermission, Rei took his chance. He pushed his way to the front, keeping his head down when he realized Sousuke was, of course, in the front row, and hurried up the steps and ducked under the curtain. 

 

Rei watched the chaos for a few seconds as the actors hurried this way and that, trying to change out of their costumes and fix their makeup, and stagehands followed after them, trying to keep up with everything going on. He spied Makoto and made his way over to him. The taller boy smiled when he saw his friend, and clapped Rei on the shoulder. 

 

“I’m glad you decided to come.” He told him, giving him that small smile. “It wouldn’t be right to not have you.” 

 

“Have you seen Nagisa?” Rei asked breathlessly. “I need to talk to him.” 

 

“No, not since he ran off stage.” 

 

“Dammit!” Rei growled, starting off. 

 

“Hey,” Makoto grabbed his arm hard enough to make him stop and turn back to him. “Rei, I know you want to see him, but is right now the best time? We still have a second half to do. If you can wait until after it’s over, we can hold Sousuke off long enough for you two to talk.” 

 

Rei thought about that for a second before shaking his head and pulling his arm back. “No, it has to be now. If I don’t, I’ll lose my nerve.” 

 

“Alright.” 

 

He took off, looking out for anyone around Nagisa’s height, and his heart jumped into his throat every time he thought he saw a blond walking by him. 

 

He waited nearly ten minutes, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Haru, Rin, and Momo had already gotten changed and were waiting for the curtain, as had several of the other actors Rei didn’t know the names of. He was about to go back to find a seat, when he finally spotted him. 

 

He was heading back to the stage. Rei wasn’t sure how much time they had left before the curtain went up, but he knew that if he didn’t do it now, he never would. He ran up behind Nagisa and grabbed his hand. 

 

The other boy spun around with a gasp, his auburn eyes wide with surprise, and swallowed. “Rei.” He whispered. 

 

“Why did you lie to me?” Rei asked. “Why did you say you loved me if you didn’t?” 

 

“This isn’t the time for this.” Nagisa said, trying to take his hand back. 

 

“Why, Nagisa? Just tell me why, and I’ll leave.” 

 

“Rei--”

 

“Why did you use me?!” He asked. “Please. Just… tell me that much.” 

 

Whatever Nagisa was about to say was lost as the curtain pulled up, and they were left locked in their stances. 

 

Rei could hear the audience gasping in surprise, though he couldn’t bring himself to care much right now. Nagisa broke eye contact with him for a moment, and stared out at the confused crowd, and then back to him. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Rin said, his stage voice out in full force. “No amount of makeup will change your face enough for me not to know it’s you!” He said, walking up to them. “Would you look at this, my dear? It’s your precious actor, come back for one last desperate plea.” 

 

Rei finally released Nagisa’s hand, but continued to stare at him. “Before I came here, a good friend of mine warned me not to fall for someone who sells their body. I guess I should have listened.” He started for the steps, tears filling his eyes. 

 

“Rei, wait!” 

 

He turned, seeing Nagisa there, tears in his own eyes, and he shook his head. “I don’t know how I ever thought someone like you would ever want someone like me. Thank you, Nagisa, for curing my silly obsession with love.” He descended the steps then, beginning to cut through the crowd on his way to the exit. 

 

Nagisa knew he needed to act fast to get Rei to listen to him. He hurried back to the center of the stage, cleared his throat, and, with a quick, defiant glance down at Sousuke, he began to sing. 

 

_ Never knew I could feel like this. _

_ It’s like I’ve never seen the sky before.  _

_ Want to vanish inside your kiss…  _

_ Every day I’m loving you more and more… _

 

Rei stopped, and Nagisa’s heart leapt. 

 

_ Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?  _

_ Come back to me, and forgive everything. _

_ Seasons may change…  _

_ Winter to spring…  _

 

Rei’s shoulders straightened, and Nagisa could see him take a breath. Maybe he had a chance… 

 

_ But I’ll love you… _

_ Until the end… _

_ Of… _

_ Time…  _

 

Nagisa sniffled, not taking his eyes off of the taller boy in the crowd. Rei lifted his head from the floor, and he thought he saw him pushing his glasses back into place. 

 

Rei stared at the wall near the back, disbelief in his heart as he heard Nagisa’s words sang to him, the words they’d written together. 

 

The proof that he’d been praying for this whole time. 

 

_ Come what may…  _

 

He sang quietly, as every single head in the building turned to him. 

 

_ Come what may…  _

_ Come what may….  _

_ Come what may! _

 

He turned around, tears in slipping down his cheeks as he sang those words right back at the smaller boy, and a smile on his lips. 

 

_ I will love you _

_ Until my dying day.  _

 

They sang together, Rei rushing back to the stage, and back into Nagisa’s arms. He brought the smaller boy in for a kiss, and brushed his tears off his face when they broke apart. 

 

“I love you.” Nagisa whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “There’s never been a day when I haven’t.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Rei replied, leaning in for another kiss. “I love you too.” 

 

“I don’t want this ending!” Shouted a voice from the crowd. Sousuke stood up, glaring daggers at both of them, his breathing heavy. “You’re  _ ruining everything _ !” He screamed at Rei. “Kill him! Do it now!”  

 

A gunshot rang out, and Rei could feel a bullet whiz right by his cheek. Up on the rafters, a taller man Rei had never seen before was holding a pistol. He pushed Nagisa behind him, trying in vain to protect him from wherever the shot came from. His eyes darted around, looking for anything that seemed out of place, and barely had time to duck before another bullet came flying at them. 

 

He fell on top of Nagisa, trying to shield him, and started trying to push him backstage before anything else could get to him. “I’ll be right behind you.” He promised. “Go!”

 

From the corner of his eye, Rei could see Makoto rushing away, and hear his heavy footfalls on the steps leading up to the rafters. After a few tense seconds, they heard another gunshot and then the gun was on the ground, just a few inches from where Nagisa was crouched. 

 

Nagisa spared one more look at him before giving him a quick kiss and finally hurrying along. Rei was about to follow when someone grabbed the top of his hair and lifted him painfully to his feet. It was Sousuke, and he looked downright murderous. 

 

“ _ You!”  _ He snarled. “This is all  _ your fault!” _ He landed a punch to Rei’s stomach, knocking the air out of him and nearly doubling him over. “The courtesan was supposed to be mine!” 

 

“He - he never.. Will be!” Rei wheezed, trying to look as defiant as he could manage.

 

“He will. Even if I have to kill you myself!” Then a hand was around his throat, and Rei was pinned against a pillar, unable to move. He gasped for air, trying to speak, but struggling only made the hand tighter. He clawed desperately at the fingers bruising his windpipe, but it did nothing. “I’ll be glad to finally be rid of you.” The investor continued. 

 

Rei saw movement out of the corner of his eye and suddenly Nagisa was there, landing a punch right in the side of Sousuke’s head. It hit hard enough that Sousuke released him, and Rei dropped to the ground. Finally able to breathe again and holding his throat, he watched Nagisa advance on Sousuke again, landing another punch that knocked the investor to the ground. 

 

The smaller boy straddled him, landing punch after punch in his own act of revenge after what had happened in the elephant. Rei let him have his moment, but finally pulled Nagisa up off of him before he ended up killing him. “Nagisa! Stop, he’s had enough. Stop.” He caught the smaller boy’s eyes and shook his head. “You’re not like him. Don’t do it.” 

 

He wrapped his arm around him, the smaller boy panting and having a hard time getting his breath. He leaned into Rei’s embrace and began to cough violently. Rei held him, trying to keep him upright even after Nagisa’s legs gave out on him. He wheezed, grabbing the taller boy’s shirt, and slipped out of his grasp. Nagisa fell to the floor, and wheezed harder than ever. “Rei…” He gasped.

 

“I’m here.” Rei promised, taking Nagisa’s hand. 

 

“Tell… our story…Promise me you will.”

 

Rei glanced down at the boy in his arms, the severity of it all finally dawning on him. This wasn’t just something for him to say during a coughing fit. This was something else… something final… 

 

He could feel the tears rising in his eyes, and he pulled Nagisa closer to him. “I promise.” 

 

“I love you.” Nagisa whispered, using what little strength he had left to kiss Rei one more time. “Until… my… dying day…” 

 

The smaller boy took one more wheezing breath, and then was still. 

 

Everyone around them fell silent, and Rei felt like his stomach had dropped out. “Nagisa?” He whimpered, gently shaking him. “N-Nagisa?” He felt for a heartbeat at the smaller boy’s throat, but it was still. Nagisa was gone. 

 

“No.” Rei moaned, bringing the body close again as the tears fell. “No, no, no!” He sobbed. He’d just gotten him back! How could he be gone again? How could he have lost him so fast? “Nagisa!” 

  
  


He didn’t know how long he’d sat there with him, but after the theater emptied, Makoto came back for him, telling him that it was time to leave now. Rei put up a fight at first, but he knew his friend was right. It took him a couple tries to get to his feet, but once he was upright, Makoto steered him away from Nagisa’s body and back out into the cold night air. 

 

The rest of them were waiting there on the sidewalk for them, tear tracks drying on their cheeks as they embraced Rei. Then, without a word from any of them, they made their way back across the street and all crowded into Rei’s small apartment. 

 

For once, he was glad for the company they forced on him. Being alone would have only made the truth of it all sink in, and he wasn’t ready for that yet. He didn’t want to admit it to himself just yet. It was so much easier to pretend that it was part of an act. That it wasn’t real. He knew he’d have to face it, but he couldn’t do it right now. 

 

Nobody slept that night. Nobody said his name. Nobody could bring themselves to even speak of him at all. 

 

Rei kept his eyes on the windmill, its slow, monotonous, circles capturing what little remained of his attention. The lights danced over his face and the wall behind him, casting a bit of an eerie  glow on his face. 

 

It wasn’t until the first signs of dawn that they tried to talk to him. 

 

“Rei…” 

 

Maybe if he didn’t reply, they’d think he’d fallen asleep. 

 

“Rei.” 

 

Maybe they wouldn’t catch him shutting his eyes if he did it carefully. 

 

“Writer boy!” 

 

Finally, he turned, just enough that he was looking at his friends, his eyes dead and unfocused. 

 

Rin cleared his throat, sharing a look with the others before speaking. “What happened tonight… he knew it was coming. The night… The night Sousuke attacked him, the doctor come to check on him, and he explained to Gou that he was dying. He had consumption.” 

 

Rei swallowed, giving him a small nod before turning his head back to the window. He didn’t know how to respond to that. He couldn’t even be angry that nobody had thought to say anything to him about it. He didn’t care. Nagisa was gone, and that was the only thing that he could worry about now. 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

  
  


They stayed with him until the sky cast a pink light inside the apartment, and then the four of them trudged their way up the stairs and into their own apartment. Makoto promised to come check on him after they’d all gotten some sleep, and Rei wondered how anybody could think of that at a time like this? 

 

After everyone had left, Rei uncurled himself from the position he’d been in for most of the night, and dropped himself into his desk chair. He promised Nagisa he’d write down their story. He promised, but could he really do it? 

 

Taking a breath, Rei began to type, not knowing where he was going with it, or what he even wanted to say. The only thing he could think of was Nagisa’s smile, his eyes, and the feelings he had stirred up inside of him when they were together. 

 

_ This is a story about love.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY. I HATED WRITING THIS CHAPTER THE WHOLE TIME I WAS DOING IT. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME TOO MUCH.


	9. Aftermath (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my own heart writing this. Nothing will ever be okay again. I'm sorry. Apparently I can't write any angst without giving into that goblin who insists to add Twist and Shout elements into everything I do... Oops...

Nagisa’s funeral was small, considering. The only people there were Rei, Makoto, Haru, and the others, on top of the other dancers from the Moulin Rouge Rei didn’t know the names of. It was sunny, and the perfect weather for a burial. Rei kept to himself through the service, not wanting to speak to anyone in fear of losing what little composure he had, and stayed near the back until most everyone had cleared away. 

  
When it was just himself, Gou, and their friends, he tentatively made his way forward. He kept his eyes away from the freshly dug earth, thinking that if he looked down and saw it, it would make it all real. It would be final. Nagisa would be gone. Instead, he kept his eyes on the others’ faces; Makoto and Gou had dried tears on their cheeks, Haru had unfallen ones in his eyes, and Rin looked as though he were close to breaking down himself. 

 

Rei wanted to leave. He wanted to be alone, in his apartment, and deal with it in his own ways. He wanted to ignore everything that had happened, and go back to pretending that Nagisa was still there, just that he couldn’t see him anymore. Being here, in this place, made that so much harder. 

 

He put his hands in the pockets of his coat, eyes wandering around to the other headstones while he waited for his friends to say their goodbyes, and let his mind wander a little to happier things. 

 

***

 

It was two months after that he finally went back. 

 

Haru and Makoto wanted to go see Nagisa, and they knew very well that Rei  _ needed  _ to. He’d been stuck up in his apartment, only leaving when he absolutely had to since it happened, and he wasn’t handling things well at all. He needed to say goodbye, and he needed to do it soon. They knew the only way to make him go was by an ambush, and that’s exactly what they tired. 

 

Without knocking, Haru burst into his friend’s apartment, strode across his floor, and threw open his curtains. “Get dressed, we’re going out.” He said, tossing a pair of pants at Rei’s face. 

 

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to go?” Rei replied, dragging the trousers away from his mouth. 

 

“Too bad, you’re going.” 

 

“You can’t stay trapped in here forever.” Makoto said, giving Rei that sympathetic look that he had grown all too familiar with over the last while. “You have to live your life, Rei.” 

 

“I’m not ready.” 

 

“Well, you’re going to be.” 

 

Rei thought about waiting them out, seeing how long they really wanted to stand there and try bullying him, but he didn’t see the point. The quicker he went and got whatever they had planned over with, the quicker he could get back home. So, he dressed, fixed his hair as best as he could, and followed them out the door and down the stairs. 

 

What he didn’t realize, however, is that they planned on going to the cemetery. When they arrived, Rei tried every trick he could think of to get out of going in, but his friends weren’t having it. They took him by the arms and guided him inside, and his heart slammed against his ribs as they got closer and closer. 

 

He stayed back a ways, not daring to lay eyes on the headstone, and just let Haru and Makoto have their time with him. 

 

“Rei.” After about five minutes, Makoto spoke up, calling him over. “You need to say goodbye.” 

 

“I already have.” 

 

“No, you haven’t. Haru and I will give you a minute if you need one.” 

 

Rei glanced at both of them, then at the corner of the headstone, and then back. He nodded. Makoto took Haru’s hand, and the two walked a little ways away. 

 

He took a breath, shut his eyes for a moment while he prepared himself, and licked his lips. Finally, he stepped forward and read the words on the grave. 

 

_ Nagisa Hazuki  _ _  
_ _ 1869 ~ 1889  _

_ Beloved son and brother.  _ _  
_ _ Died of consumption.  _

 

The breath caught in Rei’s throat and he dropped to his knees, feeling as though all the strength had been knocked out of them. The words kept repeating themselves over and over in his head.  _ Died of consumption. Nagisa Hazuki. Died of consumption. Nagisa… Died…  _

 

A broken whimper clawed its way out of Rei’s throat, and he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold what little bit was left of him together, lest he completely unravel. He could feel tears leaving warm tracks down his cheeks, and Rei pitched forward, almost curling into a ball on the ground while he sobbed. Nagisa’s eyes, his smile, his  _ warmth,  _ all of it came back to him in that moment, and Rei was struck with a wave of grief so powerful he was certain he was going to drown in it. 

 

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, next to Nagisa’s grave, but the light was beginning to fade when he finally lifted his head. His eyes felt puffy, his skin felt tight, and he was emotionally and physically spent. Rei reached out, laying a hand on the cool, white stone, and brushed his thumb over Nagisa’s name. 

 

_ This was never supposed to happen,  _ he thought, taking his first deep, shaky breath in what felt like hours. 

 

“I love you. I miss you more than anything.” He whispered, sparing one more look at the headstone. Rei got to his feet, taking one more look at the grave, and shoved his hands back into his pockets. He could see the top of Makoto’s head bobbing through the lines of grave markers, and he walked over to meet the two of them. “Thank you.” He said, sniffling. 

 

Makoto smiled at him, and clapped him on the shoulder. “He’d be proud of you.” 

 

Rei felt his lip quivering, and the tears started again before he could stop them. All he could do was nod in reply, and the three of them left the cemetery together. 

 

***

 

Four months after Nagisa’s death, the Moulin Rouge closed its doors for the final time. There were too many memories for everyone there involving the courtesan, and it became too hard to be there. Gou had sold the property, and she, Rin, and Nitori were on their way back to Australia to visit the Matsuoka parents for awhile. Haru and Makoto had taken over the upstairs apartment and adopted a small kitten that Makoto had found outside on a chilly night. 

 

Rei decided to stay in Paris for just a little while longer. 

 

After his first visit to the cemetery, he had some time to think, and he decided he wanted to stay at least long enough to finish his book. 

 

He visited Nagisa often. As often as he could, actually. Being there with him brought the same amount of peace that it had when Nagisa was alive. 

 

More often than not, he could be found sitting beside the small headstone with a notebook in his lap, talking to himself about how to write the next bit, or what he should change or leave out completely. 

 

Sometimes he could feel Nagisa there with him, sitting beside him while he worked. When the sun was warm on his face, he could feel his kisses. When the breeze picked up, he could feel those gentle fingers on his skin. When the rain blew in too hard for him to write, he could feel the smaller boy’s tears rolling down his shirt. It was almost as though Nagisa was still there with him. 

 

Almost. 

 

~~~

 

Sousuke had slipped away with little notice. The last time Rei saw him was the morning after Nagisa’s death. He found himself standing outside the Moulin Rouge, the crisp morning air stinging his face, and let his hand hover over the door handle for a moment. Rei wanted to go back inside, perhaps for a final time to say his goodbyes, but he couldn’t. How could he go back after what had just happened? How could he stand to find himself back at the same spot where Nagisa had taken his final breath not 12 hours before?

 

He’d withdrawn his hand and turned around, and almost ran directly into the investor. Sousuke was hurrying by, his head down and his cane gripped tightly in his hand. Rei stood there, frozen in spot for a moment, and watched as he got into a car, presumably heading back to wherever it was he’d come from. 

 

Rei watched the vehicle disappear from sight, and then made the trip back across the street. 

 

~~~

 

Once his book was finished, Rei decided it was time to go. At least for a little while. He hadn’t seen his friends back in England for a good while, and an old college friend thought he might know a publisher interested in the manuscript. He had a place to stay, and Makoto and Haru promised to come by for a visit in a couple months. 

 

They said their goodbyes on a warm, late-spring morning, and Rei left with his small suitcase of belongings in one arm, and his typewriter in the other. 

 

On the train back to England, he opened his case and began sorting through the things he was bringing back with him, just to make sure he had everything. Among the belongings he had brought to France with him, he now had a little address book that Makoto had given him with the names and residences of all of their friends, so he’d know where to send the letters, a well-worn copy of the script they’d all worked so hard on, and his original lyrics for the song he’d written for Nagisa folded up at the bottom. 

 

Rei pulled it out and unfolded the paper, surprised when a small piece of paper slid out from the page. He looked down, and his heart leapt into his throat. A small black and white photograph of Nagisa, smiling for whoever was taking his picture, was looking up at him. He swallowed, his eyes wet, and picked it up, fingers shaking, and brushed his thumb gently over the smaller boy’s face. He didn’t realize how much he missed Nagisa’s smile until that moment, and his breath caught in his throat as he stared at the photo. 

 

Gently, he turned it over in his hands, and found a small inscription on the back. 

 

 _Rei,_ it read, _I know you don’t believe me when I say it, but you really have changed my life. Before I met you, I had nothing good to live for. But now, I have you. I have our friends. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. You woke up a piece of my soul that I thought was extinguished forever, and I couldn’t be happier about it. You taught me how to love again. You showed me that I deserved_ _to be loved. You’ve brought me back to life. You make me happier than I can ever remember being, and I love you more than I could ever put into words. I can’t wait to see where the future takes us!_ _  
__Forever yours,_

_ Nagisa.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who has stuck it out with this story and stayed through to the end. Hopefully my upload schedule didn't take too long between postings, and that everyone liked the end result! Your feedback and encouragement has meant so much to me, and I really do appreciate all of it, so thank you!  
> Another thank you goes to all of my friends who've supported this story since it was just a little idea floating around in my head. The encouragement and threats of bodily harm if I didn't deliver was a huge boost, so thanks, guys!  
> A shoutout to my poor mother is in order for forever being a wonderful soul who listens to me complain about writing and my inability to word correctly. You're a saint.  
> Another shoutout to my friend Lydia is in order, because it's her fault that I became swimmer boy trash in the first place. Thanks. I hate you for this. My life is now garbage and it's your fault.  
> Special thanks goes to Manubibi for being hella awesome and giving this story as much support as they could. You rock, my friend. You're the type of reader every author hopes to encounter, and I really appreciate all of your own encouragement and interest. You have no idea how much it's meant to me.  
> Specialer thanks goes to my forever amazing beta, blindewok, for being a fucking amazing friend and a hilarious beta. I would be nowhere without your continued support and promises of bodily harm if I don't get things finished, or provide good things. Your continued cussings out give me the fuel I need to continue on for years. I love you so much, you asshole. <3  
> I promise, the next Regisa fic I do will be much fluffier than this, and (maybe, possibly, probably not) won't have as much major character death. Thanks so much to everyone who's read and left comments, kudos, or even just looked at it. I really appreciate you taking the time to do so!  
> Have a wonderful day, lovelies!
> 
> PS - I think it's only fair to include the thing that inspired me to write this in the first place! I stumbled across this about 3 months ago, and it immediately sparked an idea in my head that I couldn't stop thinking about until I sat down to write it. So [please check out the original post, the art is fucking beautiful, and I adore it and it breaks my heart in the best ways!!!!!](http://hubedihubbe.tumblr.com/post/122183301415/reigisa-desertau-with-princerin-incomplete) So yeah! Maybe shoot some love OP's way since this wouldn't exist without them? ;D


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